There Is No One Size Fits All Approach To Stress And Burn Out

Not so long ago, when reference was made to burn out and stress, there was a tendency to think it was something far fetched. Or something that had other forms in which it manifested. However, more people are coming to terms with this and how it is linked to mental health. From my experience, I realised that a good number of people are indeed stressed, burnt out and in dire need of a break. It manifests little by little, our body tells us, then as the signs accumulate, chronic stress manifests and some people never recover from it. At this time, immunity is weakened, which could easily culminate in chronic or terminal illnesses. It creeps on you slowly then spirals out of control.

In the bid to be great at what we do, we sometimes lose ourselves or forget to pay attention to ourselves. Being overworked or stressed these day seems to come with a badge of honour, which makes me wonder why we glorify stress. 

When it gets to the point where we can no longer go on or on those days when it all seems too much, one would like the world to pause for just one minute. But you realise in horror that the world can be cruel and life just seems to go on. One also wonders if some people who are able to stay disconnected from their feelings have a super power. The quick realisation of being dispensable hits differently. From holding it together for so long, it is easy to fall apart. And fall you might, very hard. Through certain kinds of events, you also get to realise which of the people around you you can really rely on. 

Spreading positivity

Is there ever a time when the world is devoid of bad news? I've consciously been putting out my thoughts to encourage people to stay positive. Over the last week, here is what I shared on different days.

 

Feel free to leave some of your thoughts in the comment section, lets spread some positivity around.

 

• Although reality checks are necessary every now and then, we sometimes may be too hard on ourselves and by extension others.
  Have the courage to be kind and have realistic expectations of yourself. Push yourself but don't forget to be loving to yourself, it makes a difference.

 

• Our culture is quick to dismiss quiet, ordinary and hardworking people. We tend to place value on people based on public recognition. While fame has its place, ordinary has its place as well. Not everyone will have fame and fortune so ordinary should not be equated to unimportant

 

·       Gratitude leads to joy…it is a recognition of the small things. Waiting on big things to happen without recognizing the little may set you up for disappointment. Sometimes it is a combination of the little, every day, ordinary moments that make up the big ones.

 

 

·       We've become so serious that we forget to play. Sometimes all we need is play and good laughter to lighten us up. Lifes not that serious. Play shapes our brain, helps us foster empathy, navigate complex social groups & is at the core of creativity and innovation ~ Dr Stuart Brown.

 

• Be considerate of other peoples feelings. While it's easy to tap away on your keyboard, you have no idea what state of mind the receiving party might be in. Kindness reflected in what you write can do a lot of good.

 

• Please. Sorry. Thank you. Excuse me. - These magic words open doors. No one has ever died from using them. Be humble enough to say them.

Have an amazing week 💙💚💛💜💝

Fighting Sexual Violence is Our Collective Responsibility

Before asking, he warned me by saying I have something to ask and I hope it won't offend you. I told him to go ahead. Then he asked me if he could take me in his arms (direct translation). I immediately said no and moved on to talking about something else. We were watching a programme on TV and the question came out of nowhere. This conversation all happened in French and French can seem unnecessarily intimate sometimes. We lived together, he was one of my flat mates. I reckoned he just wanted a hug but the way he asked, it came off as a bit creepy to me. Sometimes, you click with people and feel comfortable enough to hug each other, it never crossed my mind to hug this colleague.

One day, like every other time, I took a walk with another colleague, which was a normal thing. This one was my buddy, we got along very well. He was one of the ones I was comfortable with and would hug every now and then in greeting. He was quite excited on this day and was chatting away. When we got to the spot we wanted to reach, the view was beautiful. I stood admiring it then I felt someone hugging me from behind. It could only have been him as the other people around were not close enough. I was slightly confused as I stood there. Someone hugging me from behind suggests a few things to me. Unsure of what may have followed, I broke the contact by suggesting that we take a selfie. It worked. Afterwards, he posed for me to take photos of him, and in that moment, I said a silent prayer to God...'please let there be nothing more, let it be that his excitement got him carried away'. As we walked back, we talked as usual but before we could go far, he apologised. He said he was sorry if his action made me uncomfortable. I was relieved and said it was ok especially as I didn't want to walk back with in awkward silence. Then I chided myself for not saying 'if it happens again, that's when we would have a problem'. But I think he was smart enough to know that. 

Our reality with the corona virus

For the first time since the lock down, I allowed myself dwell on how long this corona virus pandemic might last and what the aftermath might be like. I was letting myself get sucked in by the worry, thoughts, analysis and uncertainty hitting the world at this time.

I do not intend to live in denial but I've generally found ways to take in the right amount of information for me, as there is sooooo much.

A sound mind

Oyine’s head had been throbbing and continually got worse. She didn’t know what a migraine felt like but if this was not one, she didn’t know how else to describe it. She dragged herself out of bed to take some paracetamol and hoped it would calm down, then she could finally get some sleep. She has had these headaches for the last few days and was afraid she was getting dependent on pain killers. At first, she thought it was lack of sleep as she had not been sleeping well.

She lay in bed waiting for sleep, insomnia had become her new reality, which was worrying. She searched her mind for what the problem could be. The only thing that constantly came up was work. She had been over worked, her efforts seemed to be appreciated but that did not change the situation.

Hemorrhoids/Piles as I know them

Disclaimer - please do not continue to read this post if you would rather not know about gross health issues. You were warned...

I got on to the plane excited as can be to be leaving the land of turbulence for a few days. Too much happened in the month preceding my trip that I simply needed a break.

The familiar feeling in my tummy led me to the loo. I thought I was going for number 1 but this turned out to be a shocker, through the entire flight.

I had had a rough month then I lost a friend. In the bid to leave, after cancelled flights and an emotional roller coaster, I bought my ticket at 8pm the night before to fly out in the morning.

Loving a child

How would you react if you were told that your child did not have very long to live?

I had a conversation with a 12 year old boy who doesn't have very long to live, he is suffering from a terminal illness. He was such a lively and intelligent boy. I can't put how I was feeling into words, it was hard. Looking at this child who knew he was ill but was a joy to be around nonetheless, left me with so many thoughts.I don't know how I would feel or how I would react if he were my child. 

From speaking to parents, I hear all the time how children give them a whole new meaning of what love is and I know that is true. I have held peoples babies in my arms and fallen in love with them, I'm trying to imagine my own.

Detoxification and well-being

I detoxify my system from time to time, especially when bloating or constipation stay for a few days. I have no regimen or time frame with which I know to detoxify, but I just know when…

I was bloated for a few days and was hoping my system would sort itself out. Well, not until my tummy started singing loudly in the office. Last night I decided to use all the ingredients I had in the fridge to make a smoothie. I was not sure how the smoothie would turn out but I made it anyway!

After I made it, I mentioned to a friend that I was unsure of it. When I listed the ingredients, he agreed that it might be a weird combination but he also wrote that it had all the vitamins one needs and if I were to take that every day, I would live till 102! Lol 

DIETS

I am not the best person to diet. I probably like food way too much to cut any food group out of my diet, except it causes harm to me. I am an adventurous eater, and food, I will continue to try every time I can in different countries and places. People bond very easily over food and food says a lot about culture and about people. 

There seems to be a new trend of people cutting out things from their food for dieting purposes. Some are extreme, some might be for health reasons, but there are other purposes.

Health is wealth

I woke up fine but at some point, I started to feel funny. I dismissed it at first but it all seemed to go downhill from there. I started this new work out so I thought that my body was simply adjusting to that. I was hungry and had started work without breakfast which I do very often. I went back to get myself something to eat then continued work but my whole body was revolting. I had a light headache, I was slightly dizzy, my tummy was in a state I could not describe, I felt cold but hot at the same time then my temperature had gone up. I spoke at this point, I told the residence manager that I didn’t feel well. I asked for a home malaria test kit and took the test, it came out negative. That was a relief as I had way too much work planned for the week to fall ill. I was meant to travel the next day.

I knew getting to a good hospital would be in the capital so I was slightly worried. She asked what my symptoms were, when I explained, she knew just what I needed. The first thing she said was ‘your flat mate had the same not long after he came here’. I asked her what she meant, then she explained that she thought my body was still adapting to the environment and that must have been the explanation for all these things that I could not explain. She advised that I get vitamin C effervescent. At this point, I could have ignored her advice but I followed. One of the things I know is, you cannot take the knowledge the locals have away from them. 

Useful information, DIY and life saving tips

Today I will share a few random tips. Some I have tried and some I have heard have saved lives. I hope someone finds the information useful...

Teeth whitening - Growing up as a child, my parents always told us to use charcoal to clean our teeth every now and then. We looked forward to those days, when else would we have the chance to run around with 'black teeth'. It was always fun. This is something I have continued doing and it may be psychological, but each time I use charcoal to clean my teeth, they always appear whiter.

GENOTYPES

I have been asked a few questions about this subject recently. Some people I have spoken to do not see any reason why they should be bothered about their genotypes. Some can't even wrap their heads around it. I am not a medical personnel but I will try to explain what I can, I will also provide links where I found useful information so you can do some research on the subject. Please correct me where I may write something that does not add up :-)

I remember being taught in Biology in Senior Secondary School the composition of genotypes, that stayed with me and this may be a little Biology lesson but it is worth reading.

First of all, genotypes are genetic make ups of cells. Some of the genotypes that exist to my knowledge around the part of the world where I am from are: AA, AS and SS...I have heard of the C heamoglobin but it is not very popular. Anyway, with the C, there are AC and SC (not sure how it works).