Fighting Sexual Violence is Our Collective Responsibility

Before asking, he warned me by saying I have something to ask and I hope it won't offend you. I told him to go ahead. Then he asked me if he could take me in his arms (direct translation). I immediately said no and moved on to talking about something else. We were watching a programme on TV and the question came out of nowhere. This conversation all happened in French and French can seem unnecessarily intimate sometimes. We lived together, he was one of my flat mates. I reckoned he just wanted a hug but the way he asked, it came off as a bit creepy to me. Sometimes, you click with people and feel comfortable enough to hug each other, it never crossed my mind to hug this colleague.

One day, like every other time, I took a walk with another colleague, which was a normal thing. This one was my buddy, we got along very well. He was one of the ones I was comfortable with and would hug every now and then in greeting. He was quite excited on this day and was chatting away. When we got to the spot we wanted to reach, the view was beautiful. I stood admiring it then I felt someone hugging me from behind. It could only have been him as the other people around were not close enough. I was slightly confused as I stood there. Someone hugging me from behind suggests a few things to me. Unsure of what may have followed, I broke the contact by suggesting that we take a selfie. It worked. Afterwards, he posed for me to take photos of him, and in that moment, I said a silent prayer to God...'please let there be nothing more, let it be that his excitement got him carried away'. As we walked back, we talked as usual but before we could go far, he apologised. He said he was sorry if his action made me uncomfortable. I was relieved and said it was ok especially as I didn't want to walk back with in awkward silence. Then I chided myself for not saying 'if it happens again, that's when we would have a problem'. But I think he was smart enough to know that. 

Enough is enough!

There has been nothing but madness going on around the world!

I woke up yesterday to twitter buzzing with news of a young woman who went to church to study in Benin, Edo state of Nigeria. Uwa, a 22-year-old woman, was raped, her head smashed with a fire extinguisher and she was left in a pool of her blood to die…IN CHURCH! #JusticeforUwa

As I scrolled on to see more details, I read about Jennifer, an 18-year-old girl, who was gang raped by 5 men in Kaduna state. I got outraged when I googled to see if anything had been done, only to see that the family was willing to accept a settlement. That would never repair the damage that was done to her and I am glad that people are demanding that justice be served to the boys. #JusticeforJennifer

There was one more hashtag…#JusticeforTina. From what I read, Tina was 'accidentally' shot by a trigger-happy policeman who was trying to enforce the curfew in Lagos. He seemed to have been asking for a bribe to let the bus go but the driver refused and was shot, an altercation ensued, and he shot randomly into the crowd. The bullet hit Tina, a 16-year-old girl. Why do policemen need to shoot at all to pass their point? And this is not a one off incident!

Trapped II

If you missed Trapped last week, please read it here.

Bewilderment, shock, betrayal, anger, hate all coursed through Laura. She was unsure of what to do. Her boyfriend still in pain tried hard to get himself off the floor, I had hit him really hard, foot and arm right in his groin and face that a part of him must have thought of getting me back.

Rape? Woody? How? The three words he heard Laura say. He asked himself also when. He came here to meet Laura’s best friend but this crazy person? 

He remembered vaguely how his friends cheered him on, it was his turn to prove himself. The things peer pressure does to people! And it all came back to him.

Trapped

In order for this story not to be too long, I have split it into two parts, the next part will be published in a week :-)

As I walked through the dark alley, those words came right back to me…

Down memory lane, it was twelve years ago that I met Laura. We instantly took to each other, we got along so well like we had been friends for a life time. This was strange and new to me. I had always been the one never to get along with people so it had to be a sign. Whatever sign it was, it just wasn't clear.

It became normal to see each other every other day or else it felt like something was missing. Years passed by and somehow in my head, we were to grow apart but that didn't happen. As often as we saw, we always had so much to talk about, this was too good to be true to me.