belletammy

It is almost common place to hear 'anything for the boys?' from guards to drivers, filling station attendants and worse, Policemen! I don't mean to sound . . . (can't find the appropriate word) but I always stop to wonder if they aren't paid a salary. It may not be decent but begging shamelessly, I simply can't come to terms with that and it puts me off. Once I was travelling and thanks to a certain group of people, there are numerous military and police check points on the roads in Nigeria. I was flagged down and we greeted each other then the elderly man who happened to be a policeman standing by my car door asked, 'won't you give your father anything?' I looked him in the face, my response was 'will a father not be the one to give to his children? Besides I am travelling so I'll prefer that this father says a prayer for journey mercies for me'. It worked like magic, he said a few words then bid me farewell, I was on my way again.

There is nothing as good as going for a meeting not knowing what to expect but coming back feeling like it was extremely productive. I had one of such on Tuesday, and a serendipity moment that I’ll hold onto for a while. I met with some great minds and I smiled all the way through my drive home. How do you tackle issues? Do you go the confrontational way or the inclusive way? I discovered that in many cases, we react to situations and decide to take the confrontational approach which may not always be the best way. The person or people we may be confronting could feel attacked and may also take the knee jerk reaction approach to attack back. We all have the tendency to categorize ourselves into ingroups/us against outgroups/them.

All of a sudden I look around and notice that inter racial marriages are just about normal. How did that happen I ask myself knowing fully well that not so long ago, parents could go mad if their children ever mentioned they were coming home with an ‘oyibo’. Well, this undefined thing we have going might just become reality…I beam as I rush on out to meet my girls. He looks me right in the face, 'you are beautiful' and my insides quiver, my feet give way and I have to sit so I do not embarrass myself. Silly me! When did I become jelly?! We take a long walk and then go on to that spot where only we can connect. We chat endlessly, that’s what we do best anyway…for now. I like to believe that this feeling that is growing in me is not just in me but is a mutual one. I stare in his blue eyes and wonder if I can ever get used to that colour.