Loving a child

How would you react if you were told that your child did not have very long to live?

I had a conversation with a 12 year old boy who doesn't have very long to live, he is suffering from a terminal illness. He was such a lively and intelligent boy. I can't put how I was feeling into words, it was hard. Looking at this child who knew he was ill but was a joy to be around nonetheless, left me with so many thoughts.I don't know how I would feel or how I would react if he were my child. 

From speaking to parents, I hear all the time how children give them a whole new meaning of what love is and I know that is true. I have held peoples babies in my arms and fallen in love with them, I'm trying to imagine my own.

Exploring manipulation 3

If you missed the last two parts, read part one here and two here

There were so many factors that stood against the relationship from the start; my dad had always said none of us would marry a non Igala person, he was a professor and wanted me to follow in his footsteps, he was from a place my people were already prejudiced about, I was in my final year while he was just starting university over again, even though he was 5 years older than me, and finally, I was a church girl and he was a bad boy. There were enough reasons to conclude that it wouldn’t work, the odds were against us. But something kept me close to him...I kept telling every one of my friends who asked me why I stayed that he has a beautiful heart. It didn’t make sense but that was it. I made things difficult for him. Somehow I had convinced myself that nothing good lasts forever so this great thing I had going wouldn't last, so I lived in hopeless fear that it would end. I kept breaking up with him, so I could save myself the trouble but he kept chasing me.

Embracing Futility 2

If you missed the first part, please read it here.

Part 2

Finally he returned. To everyone’s joy, he seemed fine. Chichi heard he was back but was not bold enough to face him, yet.

Time passed, life continued, then she met someone. He came like a whirlwind, she had those butterflies every time he came around. They went from being friends to lovers so easily. He thrilled her in so many ways. One evening they had an argument, she had never seen him so angry. They attended a party and were on their way home. They gave two of her friends who lived close to her a ride, and were all chatting away. When they all fell silent, he brought the subject of their quarrel up again. She did not appreciate that they had to talk about this with her friends in the car even though they tried to speak in hushed tones. As they talked, they soon started to yell at each other. He parked the car and looked her way, she saw the coldest look ever and with one sentence, she knew it was not meant to be. "Get the fuck out of my car" he said to her.

She could be stubborn, she knew, and this was one of the days to be that way. "I am not going anywhere. If I must get out, you must make sure there is a taxi to take me home. You picked me up from mine, remember?". Her friends must have been stunned, but did not say anything. One of them made a certain hmmm sound repeatedly to show her disgust at all the drama. She made the sound in that Nigerian way that passed a clear message. Chichi sat unfazed that it drained the energy he had. He drove and she prayed, because she knew that this speed could kill them but she would not say a word. When he got to the front of her house, they all got out without even looking at him.

Embracing futility

Where will I start from she said looking at her wedding dress and choking from tears, her vision blurred from crying…

Chichi had seen Azubike while she was studying, although they never spoke. She spent a good number of years in school thanks to her course of study. 

After her studies, she stayed on in Jos for her housemanship (internship) and residency eventually. Jos was a place she could call home. The climate was perfect, it was a lot cooler than other parts of Nigeria. It was a place that brought nature close to her; the town had such lush vegetation and beautiful rocks. Jos was once her dream city; here she was living there fifteen years later.

They finally met during her housemanship (internship). He was a junior resident doctor at the time in family medicine. She started her rotations (they were moved from one department in medicine to the other), so she was in pediatrics. He was also doing a rotation in the same department. Apparently, family physicians usually have rotations in major specialties in medicine. She remembered that she saw him at some point while studying, she was on a rotation in Obstetrics and Gynecology at the time. 

The day always started with departmental meetings where the interns would give presentations on patients admitted the previous day. On days when Chichi was not on the hot seat, she would read a novel while presentations were ongoing. From time to time, she looked up to see what was going on and would catch Azubike stealing glances at her. She knew she had this admirer but feigned ignorance. They had a mutual friend, Rabi, also a doctor, who noticed what was going on and she would always tease Chichi about her admirer. Unknown to Chichi was that Azubike had spoken to Rabi, but Rabi stayed loyal to both friends by not giving anything away.

Them!

The best man there is, able to achieve so much yet so human. Before him, I feel like I know nothing, but the beauty of it is that I can express myself just the way it comes. He is able to fill in the gaps where necessary and he helps in every way to refine my thinking. Blessed with intelligence, I never regret a moment talking to him.

Completely benevolent, his palms remain wide open for all to freely benefit from. He has nothing to hold back, I have learnt from his actions that by giving you get a thousand fold more.

A perfect gentleman who can make you feel as good as you choose to feel.

He is a man of integrity...he will not compromise his standards; he works with beautiful professionalism, a true fountain of knowledge...

The greatest woman alive: brave, fearless, full of courage and ready to take on the world, nothing can stop her once she sets her mind to achieve something. I have learnt that I can be and achieve anything I want as far as I set my mind to it. 

I share my goals, all I want to do and be with her, and she encourages me on and asks me not to hold back nor give up.

She has a heart so large and is always willing to go out of her way to put a smile on a face. A person you can count on at any time, that’s who she is.

Strength, grace, beauty, elegance and all that makes up a virtuous woman is what she is made up of.

Together, they have watched me grow in every way, from the very first breath till now and are still watching. 

They have and continue to provide all within their power, they have made my life worth living.

The freedom to share and correct despite the age difference is never an issue. They taught me to value myself and stand up for what I believe in. I am who I am today because they are.

So many times we let life pass and do not appreciate the people who are most dear to us. Our loved ones mostly, are the recipients of our best and worst emotions. 

I have been nasty, rude and done things that hurt them so much sometimes but their love for me is unconditional. I have every reason to be grateful to them and I count them as the greatest blessing I have in this world. I am taking out this moment to say I have the BEST PARENTS, they are everything anyone would wish for in parents and I love them to death.

Dear God, thank you for these wonderful people, please continue to keep them and bless them and may they keep blessing us, their children and the world at large.

They definitely have much more years to live because they haven't seen the best of me yet ;)