Wednesday, 21 August 2019

The journey to motherhood 2

If you missed the first part last week, please have a look here

Mrs B.
I am, or should I say, used to be one of those who desired to get pregnant on the wedding night. So two months into my marriage, I was already getting paranoid; sounds funny to me now, as I didn't know I had a bit of a long wait ahead. Six months into my marriage I discovered I was pregnant! You can imagine how ecstatic I was. There was nothing wrong with me after all, my husband was so happy too.
I kept telling myself I'd always heard that you didn't have to see a doctor until you are 3 months pregnant, and so I did not take any form of medication, not even folic acid! Two months into my miracle, I started seeing little stains of blood, I told myself not to worry as I'd also heard that spotting could be normal. However, a sixth sense pestered till I asked a close friend who had had a baby before, she asked what colour the stains were, I said dark red, and she got alarmed and told me not to waste any more time but to see a doctor! I had two scans from two different hospitals. The first said there was no fetal heartbeat. The second said there was after I asked. The doctor was more concerned with showing us the spot that signifies a baby and putting our minds to rest instead of telling us if all was actually well.

Wednesday, 14 August 2019

The journey to motherhood



Ever imagined not being able to conceive as a woman? Especially when the doctors find nothing but ask the woman to just wait. The pressure from society, the looks, the hurtful comments and constant self-blame. The excuses women/men make for partners when they say hurtful things, explanations women give when they should be focusing on themselves? etc.


We are always looking to the next thing. When will you get married? When will you have children? When will the next one come? We normalize pressure and always seem to have an opinion on how things should be. We forget that the person we have an opinion about has feelings just like we do, and it is about their lives, not something abstract. I remember talking to one of my friends in her third year of waiting to conceive. I remember the despair I heard from her, but the determination to get past the hopelessness and start living for herself once again.  I will be sharing stories from three women I know, in their own words, who had to wait for a few years to have children. 

I’ll let you draw your own conclusions. Enjoy.

Wednesday, 7 August 2019

Friend poaching

A friend shared the photo below with me as she was not pleased about a certain friend who would always corner every new friend she introduced and exclude her from activities. I wondered whether the friend made plans with the third parties when she was unavailable for instance but according to her, that was not the case.
On the other hand, I have seen a number of posts where people mention that friendships these days do not seem to have any depth, or how loyalty and integrity seem to be missing.

Wednesday, 31 July 2019

Cultural sensitivity

I've found people here to be quite special, they don't seem as welcoming as one might expect when painted with the same brush of African hospitality. I wonder whether it is linked to the many difficulties they have faced.

It has been difficult to make friends with the locals as one never really knows what they are thinking. In West African countries, a certain warmth and openness welcomes you. The people have a joie de vivre that sustains you through bad days. That I'm afraid, is not the case here, people are quite serious and could flip at any moment.

Thursday, 11 July 2019

Road to recovery

I found this church in the middle of a village, in the bush. A number of churches are run by Polish priests and nuns. I was talking to a priest who told me about some of his projects; one was construction of bridges to connect communities that had been cut off. He also talked of some mediation he was involved in for peace in communities. This conversation left me deep in thought afterwards.

Sunday, 23 June 2019

Hemorrhoids/Piles as I know them

Disclaimer - please do not continue to read this post if you would rather not know about gross health issues. You were warned...

I got on to the plane excited as can be to be leaving the land of turbulence for a few days. Too much happened in the month preceding my trip that I simply needed a break.
The familiar feeling in my tummy led me to the loo. I thought I was going for number 1 but this turned out to be a shocker, through the entire flight.
I had had a rough month then I lost a friend. In the bid to leave, after cancelled flights and an emotional roller coaster, I bought my ticket at 8pm the night before to fly out in the morning.


Saturday, 15 June 2019

La belle époque

Each time we drive past, children rup up to wave at the car, something they take pride in doing. Many of them don't expect a wave in return, so I see how their faces light up when I wave back. Some of them squeal and jump with excitement while others stand paralysed with shock from the returned wave. Children are so adorable and have the purest of hearts.

Straw roofs held up by sticks as make shift classrooms and schools, children walk the distance to get there with their chalk boards as proof of learning. Dirt roads, narrow paths, vast land. Motorbikes ply the routes mostly, as well as bicycles. The few private cars give a new perspective of how much weight a car can possibly carry.

Monday, 6 May 2019

One of those days...

We walked into the cafeteria just like we did every day, but were greeted by the Polish sister’s foul mood, she runs the catholic mission. It was 7:50pm and she went off..."non non non, you are late, I didn’t get any information from you, you can’t eat here, I want to let the workers go home..." and she went on a long rant, causing a scene.
My colleague and I were shocked, but he handled things so well. He started by educating her on how to address people. Instead of making a scene, speaking privately, aside, would have been more appropriate. She didn’t ask any questions, or she would have known that we had sent information in the afternoon to notify her that we would have dinner there. She tried to insist and impose her authority but he refuted it diplomatically, then we left.

Wednesday, 17 April 2019

In search of mangoes


I love mangoes, so naturally, I was pleased to see lots of them in Bangui when I arrived. They were also quite cheap. I had mangoes almost everyday for the few days I was in Bangui before my move to Bouar.
Since I got to Bouar, I haven't eaten mangoes to my satisfaction because I tried a few and they were not so great.
Growing up, we had about 5 mango trees around the house which produced different kinds of mangoes, two produced the same kind. Our neighbours had different ones which we gladly shared and there were names for all of them.