May ~ Mental Health Awareness Month

 “Like sand through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives” – a phrase I heard regularly on TV during my childhood. One I’ve come to appreciate now. By the way, if this was part of your childhood, you probably know the TV programme I’m referring to and you’ve earned the right to be called an elder 😊 I'd be keen to know if you know which programme it is.

The sun setting over Yangon

Every sunset and sunrise come with the hope that we could still do something meaningful. We trudge on through life despite the many challenges and we sometimes take for granted the things and people we think will always be there. Someone here today may be gone tomorrow, and nothing is guaranteed. The line of everyone is fighting their own battle has become excessively popular. The world is much harder than it used to be which takes its toll on people in different ways. Mental health being one hidden part, as it doesn’t instantly show.

May, I’ve heard is mental health awareness month, and in one way or the other, we all deal with mental health issues. There used to be so much stigma around admitting to not being okay, but increasingly, people are able to speak more openly about it. There are also more resources available now to help people deal with different situations.

In certain professions, unfortunately, overworking and sometimes burnout is glorified, which leaves people assuming that it is normal. But I know from experience that speaking out is always the first step to seeking and finding a solution. People typically tend to delay speaking out or seeking professional help with mental health issues for fear of stigmatisation. 

Interestingly, I found that the World Health Organisation (WHO) and the Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights (both UN agencies) have jointly developed a publication entitled "Mental health, human rights and legislation: guidance and practice". See an excerpt below:

"Mental health is growing as a public health priority and human rights imperative, and an increasing number of countries are wishing to adopt or reform legislation related to mental health. However, laws on mental health, currently often fail to address discrimination and human rights violations including in mental health care settings. In order to support countries in this area, the World Health Organisation and the Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights have jointly developed the publication which you can find here: Mental health, human rights and legislation: guidance and practice (who.int)"

Reading stories of some who dealt with major mental health challenges and came out of it, some were waiting for acknowledgement or validation which never came. They were brave enough to take the bull by the horn and seek help, despite the stigma sometimes. In many cases, you have to be your own hype woman or man and make the best out of the fleeting moments of this life that you have, which includes your mental wellbeing.

Self-Sufficiency And The Trauma We Carry

I've often wondered if the notion of “be a man”, men are not supposed to show weakness should not be seen differently. Boys just like girls are human beings and have feelings. They should be allowed to express their feelings and feel safe to show weakness and vulnerability. Teaching self-sufficiency is great, but I believe there needs to be a balance on when to reach out or speak out.

Over time I have watched this happen and the part of raising men to bottle their feelings or telling them from a young age to be tough/be a man has never sat well with me. Sadly, it leads to boys teasing one another on this subject, and eventually men doing same. Many men feel the need to not be vulnerable or act like it is wrong to cry. This unfortunately, could play out on so many levels with men taking those bottled feelings or frustrations out on the people closest to them or the society at large. They would rather find ways to cope and some of these ways could be negative coping mechanisms. In some instances, young men act out to get attention, which they would hardly ask for. But even that attention could be withheld from them due to bad behaviour. Then it spirals out of control and becomes a point of concern.

There Is No One Size Fits All Approach To Stress And Burn Out

Not so long ago, when reference was made to burn out and stress, there was a tendency to think it was something far fetched. Or something that had other forms in which it manifested. However, more people are coming to terms with this and how it is linked to mental health. From my experience, I realised that a good number of people are indeed stressed, burnt out and in dire need of a break. It manifests little by little, our body tells us, then as the signs accumulate, chronic stress manifests and some people never recover from it. At this time, immunity is weakened, which could easily culminate in chronic or terminal illnesses. It creeps on you slowly then spirals out of control.

In the bid to be great at what we do, we sometimes lose ourselves or forget to pay attention to ourselves. Being overworked or stressed these day seems to come with a badge of honour, which makes me wonder why we glorify stress. 

When it gets to the point where we can no longer go on or on those days when it all seems too much, one would like the world to pause for just one minute. But you realise in horror that the world can be cruel and life just seems to go on. One also wonders if some people who are able to stay disconnected from their feelings have a super power. The quick realisation of being dispensable hits differently. From holding it together for so long, it is easy to fall apart. And fall you might, very hard. Through certain kinds of events, you also get to realise which of the people around you you can really rely on. 

"The Gains of a Fitness Boot Camp"

As the sun sets in Uvira, in eastern Democratic Republic of Congo, a group of colleagues are twisting and stretching in readiness for an hour of physical activity. There is usually between six to nine staff attending this evening exercise routine that happens three times a week. It may not seem like anything out of the ordinary to take time to exercise; but for the staff of this hardship site, taking a moment to release steam in what we termed as ‘the boot camp’ is helping them cope with working under difficult conditions.

A sound mind

Oyine’s head had been throbbing and continually got worse. She didn’t know what a migraine felt like but if this was not one, she didn’t know how else to describe it. She dragged herself out of bed to take some paracetamol and hoped it would calm down, then she could finally get some sleep. She has had these headaches for the last few days and was afraid she was getting dependent on pain killers. At first, she thought it was lack of sleep as she had not been sleeping well.

She lay in bed waiting for sleep, insomnia had become her new reality, which was worrying. She searched her mind for what the problem could be. The only thing that constantly came up was work. She had been over worked, her efforts seemed to be appreciated but that did not change the situation.

Loving a child

How would you react if you were told that your child did not have very long to live?

I had a conversation with a 12 year old boy who doesn't have very long to live, he is suffering from a terminal illness. He was such a lively and intelligent boy. I can't put how I was feeling into words, it was hard. Looking at this child who knew he was ill but was a joy to be around nonetheless, left me with so many thoughts.I don't know how I would feel or how I would react if he were my child. 

From speaking to parents, I hear all the time how children give them a whole new meaning of what love is and I know that is true. I have held peoples babies in my arms and fallen in love with them, I'm trying to imagine my own.