Oddities, where else...

There are certain things that could come off as offensive with everyday living in Nigeria, especially to foreigners. Here are just two of some of those oddities which might be peculiar to just us.

Name calling
Oyibo, he called after her...she smiled, then looked at me. I never find people calling me oyibo offensive she said. Instead I feel like there is a certain fondness to it. I was pleased to hear that in some way. Here is someone who has spent just a little over a year in Nigeria, yet she takes the time to understand certain things about her host country, that could so easily be overlooked or judged from a different perspective.
On the other hand, another was called oyibo and he replied 'I am not oyibo'! He is Arab by the way. I explained that here, those people calling names really don't care for distinctions. Once your skin is not brown but more in the shade of milk, you are oyibo! And it is not derogatory, it is simply a slang.

I read someones post, she is of Nigerian origin but lives in the United States. One of the times she visited Nigeria, she was called lepa. She didn't know what it meant but when she found out, she thought it was absolutely rude. Why would random people just call names out at people they did not know?

I was having lunch with colleagues at a café, a school mate I had not seen in years spotted me and walked over to say hi. I was trying to collect my thoughts, but stood up to hug her and one of the first things she said was 'you've become so skinny' and I replied 'you've become so fat'. Then she said 'I am a mother, what can I do?'. My reply was 'that's no excuse'. She agreed with me, then we had a brief chat. Apparently, she and her husband own the place so I would be seeing her a lot as that's one of the closest places to grab a meal, and yes, it is a great place.

Calling her out

Two of us were sharing our frustrations about a certain woman who seems to take pleasure in making life difficult for the people she works with. He mentioned how she appears versus the reality and I summed it up. Oh, she is a b***h! He said hmmmm, I was trying to say it in a nicer way, then I said there is no need for that. I didn't think much of it then as we changed the subject and talked about many other things.

A few minutes later, I reflected on what I said earlier and wondered when I started speaking that way. I said such a derogatory word with such ease. I asked myself if this had come with practice because I didn't even realise. Not so long ago, it would have taken a lot to hear such words from me. I made such efforts to keep my 'mouth clean'! 

Nothing in particular...maybe politics

So recently I have not had the motivation to write. 

Except you live in a cave, you would know that Nigeria has had major challenges, for long enough, but the situation is getting worse.

Looking at reports from different agencies, here is a link to one of many reports about the situation of some people who have lost everything. 

The government seems more concerned about the upcoming elections in February and tends to 'treat the war with indifference'. See this article from the Economist. 

BAGA

I have been thinking of what to write for the past few days.

Baga! Life has not been the same.

I have wondered, sought answers, hoped, but all I get in return is deafening silence.

Two thousand, it is not just a number, but the number of lives said to have been lost in one day.

One is too many. Then two whole thousand?

We have wondered what to do, how to force the relevant authorities to act, but we all have a role to play.

Will a march make a difference? Maybe too many of us are scared for our lives.

A life lost means little or nothing.

There are no words, absolutely none to convey my grief.

It feels like a hopeless situation as I succumb to helplessness. 

Crimes against humanity, fundamental human rights have forcefully been taken away, the right to life and liberty.

Our humanity seems to be chipped at each day. When did we become so comfortable with death?

May they all rest in peace, may their families be comforted.  

 In Askira, Baga, Biu, Buni Yadi, Chibok, Damaturu, Damboa, Geidam, Gombi, Gwoza, Hong, Kubla, Lamurde, Madagali, Michika, Mubi, Potiskum, Shani and many more towns that have suffered senseless losses. May they all rest in peace.

Idoma Ol'Adam

The last time I was in my hometown/village long enough to observe anything was eleven years ago.

So last year, my family went back for Christmas.

Benue, the food basket of the nation

The packing? The cars had to be loaded the evening before…two families were travelling together. So we had a minibus and another car to go with. It was a long, 8 hour, but smooth drive. We set off just after 6am.

I was quite disappointed with the final stretch of the road between Otukpo and Otobi. Normally, we have to pass through Otukpo to get to Otobi. Otukpo is a local government in Benue state and the most popular Idoma town/village. It is the local government which my villages, Otobi - my mum’s village and Onyuwei - my dad’s village, fall under. I have not been to my villages many times, but the few times I have been there, the thing that has always struck my siblings and I is the red sand (as we like to say) in Otukpo. It is still the same, the roads are largely untarred. Between Otukpo and Otobi, where we spent 5 out of 6 days, the roads leave a little to be desired. Erosion has eaten deep into the roads and to make it worse, there are so many potholes. The irony is that someone represents this very constituency at the National Assembly, and has been in that position for 15 years…story for another day!

What if...

She stood there speaking to herself with a myriad of questions for just one person…

What if I suddenly discovered that everything I ever believed in was false?

What if the ones I hold closest to my heart end up being the ones who have spent their entire lives keeping secrets from me?

What if the one thing I want the most always seems to elude me?

What if the things that were once precious have made me ask… what truly is happiness, and how can it be measured?

What if my whole life has been built on a lie?

What if the concept of faith and belief, is all a farce?

What if love does not actually exist?

What if I am beginning to question my very existence?

Uh oh!

Uh oh!

On hearing that exclamation and a scream to follow, his mother instantly knew that there was trouble! As harmless as that exclamation sounded, her oldest son only used it when he had a serious situation in front of him.

They were a family of six, very closely knit. Mrs Idoko stopped at having three children initially, but years after , she wanted another so badly, a girl. She was tired of these three soldiers staring back at her with hard faces all the time. She wanted to be able to dress her girl in pink, use ribbons on her hair and eventually when the girl would grow up, she would have someone who would whine to her. Every girl would run back to her mother at some point she liked to believe. Well, she did. A lot!