Reflections on my time in Central African Republic

When I accepted a posting to Central African Republic (CAR) in 2018, a friend asked what I had done wrong to be sent here. From what I had heard, the road ahead seemed like it would be a long one.

I worked in Bertoua in the East of Cameroon in 2016, with refugees from CAR. At the time, I made a mental note not to accept a posting here, were it ever to be an option, because of the horror stories I heard.

I had no expectations whatsoever, the predominant feeling was uncertainty. These are my last days here and I am uncertain how I managed to last for 21 months! It has been quite the roller coaster and those curves have been just like the sharp twists and turns of an actual roller coaster.

Central African Republic celebrated its' 60th year of independence on August 13th 2020 which got me reflecting. To give a back ground to things, in 2013, a mostly Muslim coalition violently ousted the government. Some months later, a Christian militia sprung up to resist the Muslim group. It went further as the Christian group carried out attacks around the West of the country against Muslim communities. This degenerated and clashes between groups and against civilians continues to raise concerns. About 80% of the country is controlled by armed groups and attacks against civilians are still recurrent. 

A peace agreement was signed in 2019 between the government and 14 armed groups, but the road to implementing and respecting this agreement is a long one.

Pay Attention to Your State of Mind

"My entire sytem works with my state of mind"...these were the words I said to a friend a few days ago.

I have come to accept that being healthy is not impossible, especially as parts of our bodies are wired to work in tandem. There have been times I didn't even realise I was dwelling on an issue till my body started acting up. Sometimes we may not think anything could bothering us/may be on our minds but in general if you start to have unexplained health issues, especially where all tests come back negative, you might want to check. It might have been pushed back in your mind but nags at you.

Some of the syptoms I have noticed over time, that make me realise I need to slow down are:

- Difficulty sleeping

- Headaches and feeling light headed

- Increased indigestion, bloating, diarrhoea

Although I have no scientific proof, from my personal experience, here are some of that always solve the issue:

Calling her out

Two of us were sharing our frustrations about a certain woman who seems to take pleasure in making life difficult for the people she works with. He mentioned how she appears versus the reality and I summed it up. Oh, she is a b***h! He said hmmmm, I was trying to say it in a nicer way, then I said there is no need for that. I didn't think much of it then as we changed the subject and talked about many other things.

A few minutes later, I reflected on what I said earlier and wondered when I started speaking that way. I said such a derogatory word with such ease. I asked myself if this had come with practice because I didn't even realise. Not so long ago, it would have taken a lot to hear such words from me. I made such efforts to keep my 'mouth clean'!