Feminism and relationships

Thanks to Estrella this post is being written. She asked that I write about feminism especially with regards to relationships in the Nigerian context...

 

When I googled feminism, the definition that came up was “the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.”

Feminism in the context of a relationship…I am not sure how well these two go together but I will say on my part that I believe that both individuals in a relationship are meant to complement each other, the female as well as the male have a role to play. Where one is lacking, the other could make up. This is very vague but that’s my line of thinking for starters.

The notion of one sex being superior to the other has long been a bone of contention for many. I am not writing this to negate or to agree to that notion. Each person can make the choice for herself/himself. As open minded as I would like to think that I am, I could be traditional in some areas. When it comes to a relationship, in terms of marriage/civil partnerships for instance, I still have the notion that a man should be a bread winner, that the man should be the head. The woman could earn more and contribute significantly to running the home, she could even be the one bringing in all that is needed to run the home when there might be a case of the man losing a job or going through a rough time because these things happen but the man should still take the lead. However, certain things are true in a relationship like both sexes need each other.

Calling her out

Two of us were sharing our frustrations about a certain woman who seems to take pleasure in making life difficult for the people she works with. He mentioned how she appears versus the reality and I summed it up. Oh, she is a b***h! He said hmmmm, I was trying to say it in a nicer way, then I said there is no need for that. I didn't think much of it then as we changed the subject and talked about many other things.

A few minutes later, I reflected on what I said earlier and wondered when I started speaking that way. I said such a derogatory word with such ease. I asked myself if this had come with practice because I didn't even realise. Not so long ago, it would have taken a lot to hear such words from me. I made such efforts to keep my 'mouth clean'!