Trapped II

If you missed Trapped last week, please read it here.

Bewilderment, shock, betrayal, anger, hate all coursed through Laura. She was unsure of what to do. Her boyfriend still in pain tried hard to get himself off the floor, I had hit him really hard, foot and arm right in his groin and face that a part of him must have thought of getting me back.

Rape? Woody? How? The three words he heard Laura say. He asked himself also when. He came here to meet Laura’s best friend but this crazy person? 

He remembered vaguely how his friends cheered him on, it was his turn to prove himself. The things peer pressure does to people! And it all came back to him.

Trapped

In order for this story not to be too long, I have split it into two parts, the next part will be published in a week :-)

As I walked through the dark alley, those words came right back to me…

Down memory lane, it was twelve years ago that I met Laura. We instantly took to each other, we got along so well like we had been friends for a life time. This was strange and new to me. I had always been the one never to get along with people so it had to be a sign. Whatever sign it was, it just wasn't clear.

It became normal to see each other every other day or else it felt like something was missing. Years passed by and somehow in my head, we were to grow apart but that didn't happen. As often as we saw, we always had so much to talk about, this was too good to be true to me.

How about travelling?!

There is something about traveling I find very appealing: it opens your eyes and mind to see the world and life differently.

I love to travel but sometimes when I do, I've had friends ask what I have traveled for. One time when I traveled and a friend asked where I was and what for, I laid out my itinerary to her and the question that followed was ''just like that?'' and my reply was ''yes, just like that, I am on holiday''.

Well being

The climate in Nigeria seems to have experienced a big shift as it is a lot different from as near as ten years ago. With this difference, one would wonder what outdoor activities can be done to enhance well being. The first thing that comes to mind would be forms of exercise but at the same time there are relaxing and fun activities. The location determines to a large extent what these activities will be. Here are some ideas:

Swimming – We do not experience winter and our temperatures do not even drop as low as 10 degrees (Jos in Plateau State might be an exception to this though). Swimming is an all season booster. It rejuvenates; it refreshes and is a great form of exercise as it works all parts of the body. After a hard day’s job, getting into a pool of water is always a quick way to relax the muscles. If you do not have a phobia for water that is :-)

Choices

Dark moments, thick clouds,
despair, bitterness, hate,
Rage coursing through veins,
Complaints!

A chair rocking back and forth
but leading to nowhere
Then comes the popular question:
"Why are you always so angry?!"

Brightness, clear skies,
Joy, patience, tolerance, love,
Choosing to see the good side in everyone
and the bright side of everything no matter what.

We were made to have an extraordinarily happy life.
Afterall, YOLO
A healthy way to be,
Maybe the best way to avoid worry.

There sure are problems all over the world,
we all have problems from time to time.
However, life is 10% what happens to us
and 90% how we react to these situations.

Choose ye this day on what side you shall be...

NgREN

I wrote this report in 2010 when I still had some of the 'techie'ness (as my colleagues at the time liked to say) left in me.  My report

I may not have followed up completely with the Nigerian Research and Education Network but following up on this report, work is still being done and efforts are being made, more clusters have been formed but how involved is the community in this effort?

Nigeria is a large country with diversity as large and on so many occassions, agreement wanders far off. 
Eko-Konnect, SokREN and OsunREN are the clusters in Nigeria that are currently up and running. The idea behind the clusters is to get the Higher Institutions in different regions to collaborate and at some point, they can all come together to form the National Research and Education Network (REN).

Well, I'll let you read more about this yourself but I have to warn you that it is somewhat 'technical' :-) See these links for yourself please Nigerian Research and Education Network and Ekokonnect (one of the many clusters).

What do you think of the NgREN?

Bitter Sweet

A story once untold, a tale once heard

From far away in the land of the unknown

To right amongst us

Hearts locked, deep crevices,

Cold as ice, devoid of all emotion

No impasse reachable, just blatant refusal

Years gone by, all down the drain

A life built together with blood and sweat and tears

Some wonderful memories will always remain

Unspoken words, unhealed wounds,

Deep hurt that time may never erase

Broken jaws, black eyes, maybe paranoia

Constantly engulfed in trepidation

Ashamed to reach out

For the criticism that would follow

Words once brought healing and assurance

Now they hurt, they pierce deep

Better left unspoken

Long ago sincere vows were made from deep within

Bitter those vows have turned never to regain any sweetness

Irreconcilable differences describes it most succinctly…

Way Forward FCT?

In the Federal Capital Territory of Nigeria, word has it that the city has since become a shadow of what it was six years ago… Mallam Nasir El-Rufai seems to be the best thing that happened to Abuja as there was sanity in this city while he was in power. What do you think?

Street beggars and hawkers – Driving on the roads, one has to be extremely attentive these days as beggars and hawkers are everywhere on the streets. At any traffic light, once the red light stops you, they all appear. Sad part is, hand bags and mobile phones could get missing if you have your car doors unlocked or windows down without paying attention. Once upon a time, these people would not dare show up on the streets as there were laws to ensure that such people were never around town.

Boss - Employee relationship

In her one year of working at this firm, Mfon got all the scolding she had not got since she was a child. With a boss throwing tantrums like this every now and then, he is worse than a woman going through that time of the month. It is usually women who are this bad she thought to herself, but not in this case!

She decided to track his record...previous employees all found that he was a horrible boss and couldn't put up with his tantrums for very long. She decided to be the different one and see this through. He would bend this time and not the other way round. Feisty she had been told she was but it was about to be displayed at the very maximum.

She talked with a friend who manages a major organization and his advise to her was simple 'bad managers are everywhere and you will always meet them, count yourself lucky to have a good one'. She had to read between the lines and her own interpretation of the statement was...be the best you can be given the circumstance! Zeal renewed and her challenge belt worn, that was what she was determined to be.

It takes some effort to be up there. Are you ready to put in what is required?

About time!

The mystery envelopes him like a blanket of darkness,

all directions make no headway,

becoming a seemingly aimless wander as if in a maze,

Head buried, arms clasped, uncertainty taking over….

The strength, the courage, the will, the hope have all been lost.

That light, that blinding light is nowhere in sight.

Once upon a time, he had so many aspirations,

reality, life, experiences, they all happened.

Tears roll freely; he feels emotions not felt in such a long time:

self pity, anger, resentment all course through every vein.

It’s useless staying down there, get up he had heard one too many times.

From the depth of pain, he vows, it’s about time…about time!

The Liebster Award

I was nominated by Lizi, (see her blog here) for the Liebster Award. l looked to see the origin of the award but I have seen numerous blogs so I'll stick to Lizi's introduction which is pretty much the same as many others.

The Liebster award is given to up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers.
What is a Liebster? The meaning: Liebster is German and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome

Pollution or Not?

Crackling sounds pierce through the quiet moments of dawn,

those microphones come to life in the bid to call on believers to pray, the day has just begun. . .

Cars on the roads move with little or no respect for traffic rules, impatient drivers cause unnecessary traffic jams and in between all of that, some hurl insults at each other while horns blare so loudly, almost deafening.

Some cars are road unworthy but how they stay on the roads is a story for another day! From emissions of silencers from such cars to the wobbly movements that scare the drivers right behind, driving is sometimes a pain. PHCN powercuts may excuse the intermittent street or traffic lights, but those cars driving without lights at night can't blame the faulty grid. And if our visibility wasn't bad enough already, you can normally count on someone having a bonfire of black plastic bags on the side of the road, spewing noxious fumes into oncoming traffic just as you'd put your window down to cool off. 

The road dividers sometimes serve as trash outlets for moving cars, street hawkers and not to mention the sides of the roads where heaps of trash stand unattended and this seems to bother no one. As a matter of fact, stalls are erected and business is carried out beside the trash without a care. Does the smell not almost choke these sellers? Man must survive abi?

Roadside sellers vs trash

Drainages are not spared; they are filled with trash and do not serve the purpose for which they were created. When the real need for these drainages is required to be met, it proves impossible. And we wonder why there are floods?!

Customer Service

It is almost common place to hear 'anything for the boys?' from guards to drivers, filling station attendants and worse, Policemen! I don't mean to sound . . . (can't find the appropriate word) but I always stop to wonder if they aren't paid a salary. It may not be decent but begging shamelessly, I simply can't come to terms with that and it puts me off.

Once I was travelling and thanks to a certain group of people, there are numerous military and police check points on the roads in Nigeria. I was flagged down and we greeted each other then the elderly man who happened to be a policeman standing by my car door asked, 'won't you give your father anything?' I looked him in the face, my response was 'will a father not be the one to give to his children? Besides I am travelling so I'll prefer that this father says a prayer for journey mercies for me'. It worked like magic, he said a few words then bid me farewell, I was on my way again.

Confrontation or Inclusion

There is nothing as good as going for a meeting not knowing what to expect but coming back feeling like it was extremely productive. I had one of such on Tuesday, and a serendipity moment that I’ll hold onto for a while. I met with some great minds and I smiled all the way through my drive home.

How do you tackle issues? Do you go the confrontational way or the inclusive way? I discovered that in many cases, we react to situations and decide to take the confrontational approach which may not always be the best way. The person or people we may be confronting could feel attacked and may also take the knee jerk reaction approach to attack back. We all have the tendency to categorize ourselves into ingroups/us against outgroups/them.

'How much do you charge?'

All of a sudden I look around and notice that inter racial marriages are just about normal. How did that happen I ask myself knowing fully well that not so long ago, parents could go mad if their children ever mentioned they were coming home with an ‘oyibo’. Well, this undefined thing we have going might just become reality…I beam as I rush on out to meet my girls.

He looks me right in the face, 'you are beautiful' and my insides quiver, my feet give way and I have to sit so I do not embarrass myself. Silly me! When did I become jelly?!

We take a long walk and then go on to that spot where only we can connect. We chat endlessly, that’s what we do best anyway…for now. I like to believe that this feeling that is growing in me is not just in me but is a mutual one. I stare in his blue eyes and wonder if I can ever get used to that colour.

iBLOG - Meeting Japheth Omojuwa and Ahmed Isah

I had the choice of attending Iyanya’s album launch or iBlog on Saturday, 24^th February, 2013. However, I had committed myself to iBlog long before so I decided to stick with it. I ran into Iyanya the day before who turned out to be so cool but yeah, there’ll be many other shows :-)

I attended the first iBlog meeting where I met an extraordinary man who had convictions and would stand by them, a man who is using social media to bring awareness and wake Nigerians up to see the bigger picture. I admire his zeal and the passion with which he drives his message. He has been told enough to discourage him but Japheth Omojuwa is unrelenting to put it mildly.

The Art of the Game

Have you ever felt like you have been played? No need to ask right? We sure all have!

You know when you feel like you’ve simply been used as an end to a means in whatever respect...most popular on the list is when two people like each other and the guy gets his hands on the cookie, takes it and runs or the lady gets her hands on the cash or the thing she needs from the guy and she dumps him without looking back? 

I have a friend who loved this guy silly, she could almost lay down her life for him and he was a total waste of time! I’m sorry to say but yeah at the time he meant everything to her but never treated her right. He was living off her and she was too blind to see. You know when people are ‘in love’, it’s always smarter to stand afar off and be the onlooker because once you get tangled in it, you become the enemy when it’s all sorted out....sound familiar?lol We called her ‘Miss mumu international’, she certainly will read this post (Pardon me my dear friend but remembering this all is cracking me up so bad). She is happily married today by the way and of course not to that guy. Phew!

GENOTYPES

I have been asked a few questions about this subject recently. Some people I have spoken to do not see any reason why they should be bothered about their genotypes. Some can't even wrap their heads around it. I am not a medical personnel but I will try to explain what I can, I will also provide links where I found useful information so you can do some research on the subject. Please correct me where I may write something that does not add up :-)

I remember being taught in Biology in Senior Secondary School the composition of genotypes, that stayed with me and this may be a little Biology lesson but it is worth reading.

First of all, genotypes are genetic make ups of cells. Some of the genotypes that exist to my knowledge around the part of the world where I am from are: AA, AS and SS...I have heard of the C heamoglobin but it is not very popular. Anyway, with the C, there are AC and SC (not sure how it works).

Pearls Support Group Abuja

I was invited to a support group for women today, the topic for the day was: 'What is wrong with me? I am still not married' - catchy huh?

Women from different walks of life were there, married, single and widowed. Everyone had something tangible to add to the discussion. It was a productive session, it was also very educative. The openess amazed me. Hurting women, happy women, we all were there.

A woman shared some of her experiences in relationships, i.e. before she got married. She had been in a few abusive relationships, she didn't know any better. Another talked of how she felt everyone only wanted to take from her, some who seemed to have lost focus of why they should even be in a relationship talked of their experiences and we all came to a conclusion that sometimes, we are preoccupied with wanting to be 'hooked up' that we lose sight of who we are and why we should even be in a relationship.

Once upon a time...

Who made you judge of anybody she retorted, tears streaming down her face….

They once were happy but now that joy seems to elude her.

Going down memory lane, she remembers how the sound of laughter always filled her home, they once were the couple everybody wanted to be like, the promise of tomorrow was bright but today it all looks bleak.

Who else could she have married if not him? They dated through university and even when it got tough, they grew stronger in love. The one true love of her life, her happy ending.

2013

Some predicted that the world would end sometime last year but here we are :-)

Passing moments….quick seconds, a life given, a life taken!

New aspirations, new dreams, fresh moments, new years…

Miracles, disappointments, break ups, pleasant surprises.

Clinging onto every bit of hope as nothing else is worth holding onto.

We were made to be ‘diamonds in the sky’ lighting up our world wherever we find ourselves for our next moments can never be predicted.

Life’s moments are not to be taken for granted…the good, the bad, the ugly all make up the experiences. It’s up to us to learn from them or not.

When you forgive, it’s not for the other person but for you because you cease to let the offender have power over you but when you do not, the offender has power over you and so many times, unknowingly, because you begrudge the person while he/she continues with life oblivious of what may be going on in your mind. If you need to have a confrontation, go ahead and move on, life is too short to hold grudges.

What you give out is what you attract, when you harbour evil, be rest assured that it will find its way out and sadly will return to you in some way.

Difficulties arise from time to time, how else would we know that we can be strong without them? Life is beautiful, life can be simple but so many times, we complicate it. We take for granted the ones who love us most and look for things that are out of our reach when what we really are looking for may be right in front of us.

Its 2013, so many woke up with new resolutions…a tweet from Kirk Franklin stated that ‘if you don’t deal with your junk in 2012, it will be waiting for you in 2013’ I couldn’t agree more! People expect miracles with the strike of the clock into the New Year but if the junk is not done away with, it will be carried over; the work needs to be done. If there is a flaw to work on, accept it and do so…after all, we all have flaws but some have learnt that working on them and exalting/dwelling on virtues makes the difference.

Whoever means anything to you, be good to them, hold them dear. When you meet people, treat them right, try not to be impolite. Things cannot always go the way you want, the world doesn’t revolve around you, there are way too many people in it. Find a balance and be considerate of other people’s feelings. Love deeply, laugh as often as you can, try something new, live in the present, don’t dwell on yesterday or tomorrow (not saying don’t plan though). It’s okay to get angry but don’t be for long and watch what you say because words are like eggs, once broken, you never get them back. Bitterness can very easily be given room in our hearts but it is so not worth it, it takes too much energy and destroys everything that has any potential to be good.

There is only one you, find the good in you and be the best you can be, it takes too much effort to live in other people’s shadows…

This goes to give you my very best wishes for 2013, hope it brings all you have dreamt of and so much more!