Pearls Support Group Abuja

I was invited to a support group for women today, the topic for the day was: 'What is wrong with me? I am still not married' - catchy huh?

Women from different walks of life were there, married, single and widowed. Everyone had something tangible to add to the discussion. It was a productive session, it was also very educative. The openess amazed me. Hurting women, happy women, we all were there.

A woman shared some of her experiences in relationships, i.e. before she got married. She had been in a few abusive relationships, she didn't know any better. Another talked of how she felt everyone only wanted to take from her, some who seemed to have lost focus of why they should even be in a relationship talked of their experiences and we all came to a conclusion that sometimes, we are preoccupied with wanting to be 'hooked up' that we lose sight of who we are and why we should even be in a relationship.

Until you are comfortable in your own skin and have accepted who you are, the way you are and you are in a happy place, you may not be ready for a relationship. Getting into a relationship is not about your insecurities or the 'status' that comes with being in one. There is so much more like selflessness, sharing and you name it...

So I dare say, being single is not a curse, it is a phase in life just like childhood is a phase. What's the fuss about getting married anyway? Not to discredit marriage but not every married person is happy, there is a high divorce rate so why won't the single ones be left to take their time? Literally everyday, the single ones who are ripe for marriage by the society's judgement, get the question, 'when will you get married?.'

If there was a manual on how to get a husband/wife or there was a school to learn and find them, many people wouldn't be single, these things aren't planned. Some are not in a hurry, it may just not be time for others, life happened to some and people don't like to hear this but some who claim they want to get married are simply not ready. 

How about the men? Some are sure looking for miss perfect, miss curvacious, the non-existent doll they might have created in their minds.

Those dolls and for the ladies, those magazine men only exist in your subconscious, they aren't real. If you who may have dreamed them up are perfect, please contact me as I will be more than happy to showcase you to the world :-)

Accept this - nobody is perfect! Be ready to live with someone who you can complement and who brings out the best in you, someone with whom you can lay yourself bare and be truly honest with. Oh there will be fights, infact fights over things you cannot even remember but that's all part of the trip of it. So while you are single, enjoy the luxury of fooling yourself every now and then that your subconscious character exists but when you are faced with reality, open your eyes!

So here is one of the things some of the single people (women especially) are saying to the world. Hahahahahaha