Reflections on my time in Central African Republic

When I accepted a posting to Central African Republic (CAR) in 2018, a friend asked what I had done wrong to be sent here. From what I had heard, the road ahead seemed like it would be a long one.

I worked in Bertoua in the East of Cameroon in 2016, with refugees from CAR. At the time, I made a mental note not to accept a posting here, were it ever to be an option, because of the horror stories I heard.

I had no expectations whatsoever, the predominant feeling was uncertainty. These are my last days here and I am uncertain how I managed to last for 21 months! It has been quite the roller coaster and those curves have been just like the sharp twists and turns of an actual roller coaster.

Central African Republic celebrated its' 60th year of independence on August 13th 2020 which got me reflecting. To give a back ground to things, in 2013, a mostly Muslim coalition violently ousted the government. Some months later, a Christian militia sprung up to resist the Muslim group. It went further as the Christian group carried out attacks around the West of the country against Muslim communities. This degenerated and clashes between groups and against civilians continues to raise concerns. About 80% of the country is controlled by armed groups and attacks against civilians are still recurrent. 

A peace agreement was signed in 2019 between the government and 14 armed groups, but the road to implementing and respecting this agreement is a long one.

Oloibiri - Nigeria's oil curse

I went to the cinema after work yesterday. I wasn't sure of what I wanted to watch although I looked at the film list. I got into the lift and a preview of Oloibiri was showing, it caught my attention and my decision was made!

I will try not to reveal too much for anyone who might want to watch it but I will mention a few scenes.

This film did not just hit a nerve, it jacked and pulled every nerve in me. I shivered as I watched, literally. I cry when it comes to films but in this case, there were too many sensations and tears were far away.

Unsure

I have been unsure about many things lately…

About what to write, about how to add value, about where the world is heading.

Too many bad things are happening, too much hatred and anger is tearing our world apart.

My beloved country has been thrust in the spotlight for horrible things lately,it is frightening.

There are wars all over the world and for those who are students of the bible, I am unsure if these are those times when there would be wars and rumours of wars that the bible talked about...

I am unsure of even some of the people around me,

unsure of what to expect, unsure that I can be the change I want to see,

unsure that the little things I do to make a difference matter,

unsure about my future, my career, my plans...

I am unsure that in the near future we will have a world where children would play freely with other children,

unsure that a child could walk into a neighbours' house with no fear of harm,

unsure that the future generation will understand the value of hard work,

unsure that a child will be taught not to take advantage of people, or that a child will know to use things and not people,

unsure that a child will ever know a world of no discrimination...

I am unsure why I am even writing this post but I will publish it all the same…

I have unfinished stories but I am unsure if it alright to work on them or if it is alright to carry on with life like nothing affects me because everything that happens, does. 

In this short life of mine, I have had some bad experiences, I have been robbed at gun point and I was a witness of a bomb blast.

I am unsure if some people may be bothered by some of these events,

unsure if the #BringBackOurGirls campaign matters to some as it has been called a hoax,

unsure if the #NyanyaBomblasts or the #JosTwinBombings have moved certain people

unsure that any value is placed on human lives,

unsure if the #StateofEmergency and the #MultipleBombings that happen in the North Eastern region of #Nigeria, or the #EthnicViolence in the #MiddleBelt, or the #Pollution in the #NigerDelta has pushed the relevant authorities to take bold and decisive steps to curb it all.

I am unsure but glad that despite all these calamities, Nigeria has managed to remain one country.

Unsure and wondering, one step at a time, living everyday like it is golden.