An era driven by validation

In search of validation by likes, comments?

Ever noticed how when you post something on social media, you instinctively pick up your phone numerous times to check how many likes or comments you might have? Or how we scroll aimlessly through our feeds looking for nothing in particular? I am guilty as well!

I heard a couple talk of  the highs and lows of parenting and how other parents made parenting look so easy with photos on instagram. Although they have come to embrace it, there are things they wish they were warned about or guided on.

Social media has a way of sucking us all in and at the same time deceiving us that everyone's life is so glossy. In many cases, we share our best moments on social media. The ability to distinguish between that and real life is key, especially in an era of such consumerism.

Friend poaching

A friend shared the photo below with me as she was not pleased about a certain friend who would always corner every new friend she introduced and exclude her from activities. I wondered whether the friend made plans with the third parties when she was unavailable for instance but according to her, that was not the case.

On the other hand, I have seen a number of posts where people mention that friendships these days do not seem to have any depth, or how loyalty and integrity seem to be missing.

In Control

Always said to function too efficiently, somewhat robotic with a mild case of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Meticulously arranging everything, the preference of things aligned and expecting to meet things where they were kept on return.

Each time expectations were not met, things were taken out quite hard on self. The biggest critic/judge but at the same time, the biggest motivator, has been and continues to be self.

The problem with being so strong or in control all the time is that when there is a break down, it is usually bad. They say the ones who appear strongest are usually the ones who are weakest inside.

 

Expectations fell short this time, targets were missed and the self beating was quite hard over that, for a bit too long, for the first time. Catching self then being convinced that it was fine to wallow in a little self pity and be vulnerable. 

Letting go was the beginning of trouble. Never having dealt with this mix of emotions, it was strange and extremely scary to be in that position. Starting to feel needy and expecting some form of validation… 

But from who?!

Photo credit: Google images