I have no need to care about how I look; how rough my cornrows are, or how oily my face is. There are no mirrors here anyway.
I should not be bothered much about the unsanitary conditions in which I have to live in certain villages, how I dread going around toilets or bathrooms. Who cares about cleanliness anyway.
I am probably worrying too much about a balanced diet looking for fruits and vegetables, when the only thing I find to eat here is meat and carbs. How many can afford to eat anyway.
I sit in a car through the difficult terrain and almost non existent roads which sometimes make my body ache. I have the luxury of a car when most people walk or ride bicycles anyway.
I can barely pick words in Songo and sometimes wish I could be part of conversations while I sit with them. Who cares about me understanding or contributing anyway.
When a friend asked "what wrong I had done" to be sent outside the capital, I still accepted the mission because I wanted to help out anyway.
I'm constantly on the move and always feel like I'm visiting wherever I stay, as all the places where I work are several kilometers away from the office. I do not have a support system and I'm unable to create one with my constant movement. But I get to travel around the country anyway.
When I get deeply moved by things or stressed and just need to rest, it comes off more as a sign of someone who is used to living in luxury. I should be fine with just a little discomfort especially since I'm African anyway.
On days when I miss my family and loved ones, on days when I get overwhelmed and question my choices, I still have to be reasonable as I'm probably too emotional anyway.
Even if the life of a humanitarian worker can be extremely challenging with us living and working in extreme conditions, even though sometimes we help at our own peril, we chose this job/life anyway.