Is This Some Form of Identity Crisis?!
There have been different instances of Nigerians living abroad saying
such horrible things about Nigeria. We must understand that when the
media reports certain things, they are blown out of proportion.
Everything makes the country seem unappealing in every sense of the word
to return to. However, bear in mind that with the media, no news is
good news!
In the light of this, a friend and I were chatting and
we were talking about some of the crisis that are ongoing in certain
parts of Africa. We ended up having a lengthy chat about the crisis in
Central African Republic, at a point she wrote AFRICA! I asked what
about Africa, then asked her simply if the United States where she
currently lives in is any different. I asked her if people were not
being killed in broad daylight with not much being done about it. I
asked her if she had had to go through the painful speech with her sons
of how to behave and how not to behave in public. I asked if she had
warned them not to wear hoodies, if every day she didn’t live in fear
with the hope that nothing would happen to her children. I also asked if
the many threats, some that are not even reported are not terrifying
enough in the U.S. I am not in any way saying that one conflict/any form
of killing is better than the other, but I do not understand why there
is the need to ignore the problems that exist in front of us, while we
are so quick to point at other people’s? Note in this case, that every
person apart from her nuclear family lives in Nigeria. She was born and
raised in Nigeria but relocated with her family to the U.S. about four
years ago, then all of a sudden, the very place that raised her and
accounts for most of who/what she is, is now talked about with disdain.
We ended the conversation with her writing, “abi ooo nobody is safe
anywhere”.
Another friend was talking to me about my job and some
of the risks involved in what I do. I love him and his family and could
understand his fear. I assured him that I was and will always be fine
and safe. I asked when next he would visit home and he said he had no
intention of bringing his son to Africa! Ah! Africa?! When did Nigeria
become Africa? Well, I reminded him that Nigeria was in Africa but was
not Africa in its entirety. He talked of the conflicts and the many
attacks going on in different parts of Africa. I equally pointed out
that the same was going on in many Western countries at the moment. We
also talked about the conflicts and attacks, then, I asked the same
questions I asked my friend above. We went into a bit of law, talked
about human rights, and that sort of thing.
He brought up the issue of
gay couples and the intolerance there is for people in this category and
my argument at this point was simple. I agree that there is intolerance
but he has to admit that this is something that is seen as foreign in
Africa. Now, for us to reach a certain level of acceptance of this
phenomenon, someone has to take up the responsibility to do some
sensitisation. One statement however that put me off was, ‘I am glad my
children will not be raised in that part of the world’. I told him I was
happy also that his children would not be raised in this part of the
world as we would not like for them to grow up in confusion about who
they were. I would rather they grew up feeling American than suffer from
an identity crisis like their father was suffering at the moment. I was
upset with him because there were certain truths, unfortunately I
cannot write here, that he could not own up to. From my many
conversations with him, he has at some point seemed unsure of himself.
He has been in the U.S. long enough and is naturalised, but does not
feel American. There is a certain acceptance that is not necessarily
granted. In so many cases, the black person has to put in double the
effort to be recognised, then a foreigner? This friend of mine
identifies more with Nigeria than any other place, so why? A good number
of us including him were raised in Nigeria for the most part and turned
out alright, didn’t we?
This applies not only to those in
diaspora! There are some at home, in our very domot, whose lives are
lived through television, which is not even reality. They get so
confused in their minds and can’t draw the line between real life and
wishful thinking. Those who think they are better than others, yes, some
are better than others in different ways, but a good number of the most
hardworking people I noticed are the least opportune. So shall we call
it luck? Eventually, some of these confused ones find out that living
abroad comes at a great cost. I have seen many Nigerians in Western
countries living such lowly (for lack of a better word) lives, they
would do far better at home! One time when I was at a train station in
England, a Nigerian was on the phone, his Yoruba accent was
unmistakable, he was cleaning but lying right there about the office he
was in. I have asked some why. Shame! Shame would not let them come
back. But on social media, some make the loudest noise! Eventually, they
come back ‘home’ to the very country they spent so much time thrashing
to try to make a fresh start. Look, this is in no way generalising
(reason why ‘some’ and 'many' appear a few times) but it has happened
often enough and by so many for the issue to be raised.
On the
issue of conflicts, I asked my friend some thought provoking questions
and there were some cases where he pointed out that Western countries
had fueled them, these countries have provided and continue to provide
all the war equipment needed for destruction. There are vested interests
that have to be protected, some have to be created, some countries
cannot be allowed to attain certain heights, while others could kill
themselves as there is nothing to protect. With the rising number of
security concerns around the world, I do not think anyone should be
making out that these concerns are different anywhere. People should be
more concerned about their safety.
I do not in any way say that
Nigeria does not have problems, I acknowledge that we have a host of
problems which will take a life time to fix. In fact, thinking about our
problems brings out so many emotions in me: anger, resentment, despair,
I could go on, but gosh, all these guys, behave yourselves! Attacks,
wickedness, corruption, everything is universal. Instead of all the
bashing, can we not at some point put our heads together to try to
figure out the way forward?
I was told as a child that we are the
leaders of tomorrow! I am an adult now but I am yet to see my generation
take the lead in this country. If all we do is thrash our country, then
make noise on social media without backing all this with action, when
ever are we going to lead?!
Also featured on Bella Naija
Photo Credit: Google images
Also featured on Bella Naija
Photo Credit: Google images
My dear....it saddens me how Nigerians portray and magnify their dirty linens....mecheww.... as if na we bad past for this world....Then become an Ugandan or South sudanian...lets hear your story...
ReplyDeleteIt is indeed saddening. But I hope we can change this thought pattern soon...Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.
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