Anyway...

I have no need to care about how I look; how rough my cornrows are, or how oily my face is. There are no mirrors here anyway.

I should not be bothered much about the unsanitary conditions in which I have to live in certain villages, how I dread going around toilets or bathrooms. Who cares about cleanliness anyway.

I am probably worrying too much about a balanced diet looking for fruits and vegetables, when the only thing I find to eat here is meat and carbs. How many can afford to eat anyway.

First impressions of Central African Republic

I didn't know what to expect but I remember that once upon a time I had told myself that if I were to be asked to work in this country, I would politely turn it down. I had heard such horror stories from refugees in 2016 while I worked in Cameroon, who lived through the worst things. At the time, I was offered a job in Bamabari (one of the hot spots in C.A.R) and I turned it down. I worked in a town called Bertoua close to the border of C.A.R so I worked with refugees from here.You can read about my time out there from this link

3 years later I found myself on my way to C.A.R despite my once upon a time resolve. A few people have asked me where the country is so this map should give an idea. You can also see where Bouar is on the map.

I expected to be in the capital but was told last minute at HQ that that would not be the case. I was already on my way! I had tried to prepare myself but after that news, I was quite disoriented.

On arrival in Bangui, I was smashed after such a long trip. I flew to Geneva from Abuja on Sunday through Istanbul. By Tuesday I was on my way to Bangui via Amsterdam and Nairobi. When I landed on Wednesday morning, all I wanted was a bed to sleep in.

The Ugliness of Domestic Abuse

I was going to write this as fiction which would have had additions and I would have had to make some parts not so bad, but what's the point?

I have a friend who was a victim of domestic abuse. For way too long, if I might add. When it started at first, she was shy to say so. Then it progressed, she was trapped in a cycle that she could not seem to get out of. I remember her reaching out to me one evening because she simply wanted to talk. One of the things she said that made my heart stop for her was "I don't like the person I have become and I can't seem to help it because I love him".

There is the danger of a single story but in this case, I unfortunately cannot reach the other party and have no intention to try. I am writing this with my friend's consent. Please note that there is so much that has been omitted for privacy reasons but this is the nicest of all the ugliness of that relationship. So here are some of the incidents she told me about as I remember:

The Prime of Her Life

She planned her life around him, everything concerning her revolved around him. She moved from country to country with him and would look for jobs wherever they were at the time. It was not the greatest as she went for months sometimes without a job, then most times, the jobs she preferred were overseas. She was happy though to do the little she did to stay active, she spent more time at home to care for him as he worked really hard. This was one of the things she admired most, so it was easy not to hold anything against him. She had dreams of a career which she gave up when she chose this lifestyle with him but that she did with no grudge or resentment as he more than catered to her needs emotionally and financially. 

Bumpiness all the way with this trip continued...

If you missed the first part, please read it here 

This was what the room looked like. I find the best in every situation, so here, there was clean water. It wasn’t brown but clear and that was amazing to me, given the circumstances. There was no phone network in the two villages where we would be working, but there was constant light. I hardly used it but it was comforting to know. 

The room consisted of a bed, a table and a chair

Bumpiness all the way with this trip

If you missed this post From One Place to Another, please follow the link as that will help to put things in context :-)

 We set out as early as 7am, we were going for a week. It was a rainy day and as we drove out of Bertoua, I was told that we would be driving on dirt/untarred roads for the rest of the trip. We finally took the turn that led onto the dirt road and gosh, nothing could have prepared me for that level of bumpiness. We drove through mud and deep pot holes, I gained a lot more respect for people who have jobs as drivers. The dexterity with which the car was handled, I would have come nothing close to it. I counted the hours, I tried to get my mind to wander but it just wouldn’t, every part of me was involved in the bumpy ride. My insides were turned over and over again, my body rocked back and forth violently as the road determined. We had a loo break in between and I jumped out of the car just not to feel constricted by it because I didn’t like the car very much at that point. See some photos which I managed to get when it wasn't so bumpy of the road below:

Not All The Way Home 3

Part 3

Growing up was a trap Kate concluded! Life was so much easier before. Now she had to fight for what she believed in, she had to stand up for what was right and unbelievably, demand in some way  to be respected where she was looked down on. Finally, she was glad to have Mrs. in her corner as it took less energy now. Mrs. was a handful to deal with if you were not in her good books. Kate was not there to make best friends but to work, however, a cordial environment would certainly help.

The office was definitely different since six colleagues were laid off, there were mixed feelings, there was anger, people were still not convinced that the true reason was given why so many were let go. The case was reported to the National Human Rights Commission by two of the people who were let go. The Commission wrote to make enquiries of the case but was given a flimsy, very well thought out response that paralysed the Commission from taking any action. Knowing that this was an international organisation in a host country, there were restrictions as this organisation was covered by diplomatic immunities and privileges, there was not much the Commission could do.

Not All The Way Home - Part 2

Kate was left alone to her thoughts and burst into tears in shame, pity and God knows what other emotion she was feeling… Life as we know it is so unfair she thought to herself. She could not explain why she was so emotional, but her heart was fully in this. She knew the family of one of the men who would be laid off and wondered how they would cope.

She was a single woman, living the life of her dreams, earning so much money that she almost did not know what to do with it. She liked her job but not as much as she did her last. Then, she made tangible impact but now, it was more theoretic. 

She had a meeting she was not fully prepared for, so she pulled herself together as she needed to get her presentation finished. She had worked tirelessly to try to make her dear colleague see that she knew her job and was good at it but the Mrs. was adamant and had her mind made up. Some other colleagues had warmed up to her but would only refer to her as the pretty girl, her work was hardly spoken about. Mrs. was equally good at her job but was just being a WOMAN! 

They both reported to the same person, she was also a woman but was extremely pleasant. It was sometimes uncomfortable to be in the same room as Mrs. and the boss but Kate was not in the job to compete with or harm anybody.

Not All The Way Home

On a hot ‘summer’ afternoon, she sat at a corner watching her colleagues eat, laugh and chat away, but she could not bring herself to join them, not after the kind of news she had just heard. Today the divide struck her so hard and it was most challenging for her because she belonged to both sides. She hated that she would have to choose. She was local but on the other hand, completely foreign. She did not appreciate the dynamics at work. The divide between locally employed staff and expatriates was wider than she imagined. As an outsider, she could see that it was there but she did not know to what extent it existed.