Thursday, 4 June 2015

Tempted



Why am I still single at thirty three, she wondered... Everyone but her could see that it was about her attitude. Although she would not accept that she gave off the impression of such an arrogant person. She was nice, no doubt but only if one took the time to know her. Not many people lasted in her life beyond the first meeting.
 
She had been with a few men in the past. Although their relationships did not work out, they remained in touch, they stayed as friends. She still had a thing for this one, Darey, they had a very strong connection while they were together. She could not even remember why they were no longer a couple. They were in different countries but they kept in touch. He planned to visit home and that kept them pleased, super pleased as there would be a possible reunion. She woke up horny a lot, probably as the anticipation to be held kept building. She had been sex starved for some time, about a year, she was looking forward to seeing him and of course…

The moment he landed, it was like he had been set free. Previously, it was like he had been on a tight leash. He had also been celibate since his last relationship which ended quite badly. He wanted to hold Lola. His last memory of her was a great one, she was one of his best girlfriends but the distance could not work for them. As he walked out with his luggage, she was right there waiting, she had that smile, that beautiful, childish smile, which was one of the many reasons he fell in love with her. They kissed and it sent rockets flying. It was a Friday and they would have the weekend together.


On arrival at her house, they ran in, peeled off their clothes and that was the last thing Lola remembered about anything else. She woke up the next day half confused, seeing a man beside her…she almost screamed but remembered just in time not to embarrass herself. He turned over and smiled. Last night was wonderful he said, and that set them off again.
Having tired themselves out, they were ready for a shower and that was when he remembered that he had luggage. That was the last thing they cared for the previous night. He grabbed a robe and dashed to the car to get it. Presents were unraveled, Lola was loving this. ‘I could get used to this’ She mumbled. It reminded her how much she had missed having a man to herself. She chose not to think of any of that but enjoy the moment. He would have her undivided attention for that day and the next day before Monday.

They were indoors mostly, only went out for one meal. They cooked. Lola discovered new parts of her house thanks to Darey. He was one person who got her, he knew how to handle her in so many ways. He would be around for two weeks but she would only have one full weekend with him because of work and he would need to travel to other parts of the country. Time flew by so quickly and they were back at the airport where old flames were rekindled with no certainty of tomorrow. 

Weeks after, she was bleeding as usual. It was that time of the month so Lola did not worry. But there was something unusual and she started to feel funny. Lola went straight to a pharmacy and got home pregnancy kits, three of them! She took the test at different times of the day but did not look at the results. She wanted to have the pleasure of seeing them all, to show how silly she was for thinking in those lines. She picked them all up to have a look just before going to bed and she almost jumped out of her skin. They all showed two red lines, every one of them!

The hours passed so slowly, she could not sleep. She counted, waited, wished she could urge time forward. She knew that her life was about to change. As dawn broke, sleep came but she jumped out of her bed at the first appearance of daylight. She got ready and rushed to the hospital. This was not happening to her, she simply could not believe it. She asked for tests to be conducted. She sat there praying and hoping that everything would come back negative. She reminded herself of how silly she was to have gone skin to skin, so she prayed to everything she ever believed in, not to have been infected by any disease and worst of all HIV. That was her biggest fear. How would she live? How would she face anyone? She had no parents, who would look after her?

As she sat there with her tear stained face waiting, her name was called. She got up like a robot and went in. The results were handed to her and she went over it five times but missed the negative that was staring at her for HIV. She was informed that the reason for her bleeding was a threatened abortion but her baby was fine.


She calmed herself down eventually and made the call she had been dreading. There was silence, it was deafening…”are you a toddler?” he finally said. “You obviously planned this!” Lola had no strength left to make excuses or point accusing fingers for their being carried away. “You know what? Do what you want but I will have no hand in it”. She stood there staring at the phone, unsure where to go or what to do. They had been chatting the day before but with this news, Darey sounded like a monster. 

She had been looking forward to being a mother although not like this! She remembered that she had made a promise to herself never to take out a child as long as it was not life threatening. She had to keep that and be true to herself. She informed a few close friends to gauge their reactions…
She was hurt and confused. She went to her lawyer to draft an agreement. She sent it to Darey and it stated clearly that he would have no part in the child’s life and he was willingly giving up all paternity rights + there would never be room for reconciliation.

Time passed, then after her first scan, she fell in love with this person growing inside of her. She decided that she would do everything to protect him/her then she remembered that Darey had still not signed the agreement.

Photo credit: http://www.compression.org/uncertainty-and-depression/  
This story is based on true life events

25 comments:

  1. Incomplete story...... craving for more......

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    1. How about we wait until she has the baby? Thanks for stopping by :-)

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  2. Oh wow! How can one react to this?? Mehn, I sure won't wish anyone to be in that situation. But it's all good. Darey had better sign the agreement so their lives can move on.
    Can't wait to hear how the story ends.. :-)
    Efua

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    1. I am also waiting to see how things will unfold but I hope he does not sign. I doubt that will bring any good in the future to them and the child.

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    2. It's best not to make decisions when one is emotionally unstable, but if Lola has thought it through level-headedly and that's what she wants, then why not? Would you rather they lived their lives resenting each other because of a child? She could meet someone tomorrow, fall in love and get married and he may be willing to adopt the child as his (I've seen that happen). So why put her life on hold??? But if Darey refuses to sign, he had best be ready to take full responsibility and be a part of the child's life (even if they decide not to let it force marriage upon them). Still, it's the person wearing the shoes that knows where it pinches.. :-)

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    3. I agree totally to your last sentence. I do not see any reason why they should resent each other, a child is involved, be mature about it or let things be. Lola's life does not have to be on hold because of Darey or the child.
      You mentioned thinking things through level-headedly, I do not think either one of them is in the position to do so now while things are still fresh. In the long run, things will sort themselves out.

      I just responded to a comment below so I will just paste that here:

      "Would signing the agreement be in the interest of the child or mother in the future? Have we not seen too many times when the child turns on the mother and accuses her of being the one standing in the way of him/her having a relationship with the father?
      I am not sure if the agreement is necessary. On the other hand, she could do all she needs to do to raise her child. If the father comes around, the father and child could have a relationship, if not, live and let live."

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  3. I understand how a woman would feel but to be honest, who else would take the flak? Imagine if it was the guys responsibility. Would the woman take part in it? Don't get me wrong. The truth that can never be changed is that it remains the man's kid whether he likes it or not. We know how the world works. Men and women like to have consensual sex. And it is obvious that was the case here. But having a kid takes a bit more dialogue. So in my books, the lady should have done a bit more to avoid pregnancy if she wasn't ready and the guy too. She knows her cycle, she knows her body. Some guys would ask and make it an issue. But especially if the lady is not young, you don't see much need to babysit. Having said that, I am of the opinion that the guy has to live up to his responsibility, though I see why he would be angry.

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    1. I am glad that you acknowledge that they both have a share in the responsibility as the issue being addressed here is why women tend to be at the receiving end of things like these when both sexes have a part in it. Double standards!
      The same also applies in cases of extra marital affairs...a woman could get thrown out of her house but the man gets forgiven! Why is it generally acceptable to forgive a man and not a woman? This is even beyond the partners now, society accepts it!

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    2. What the guy is experiencing is that he feels forced to take a decision that he is not ready for and unlike what women think, it doesn't mean he doesn't like the woman. But liking her and having a baby by her and marrying her are three different worlds. We can morph into those spheres but it takes time. A baby just forces everything and you also feel like damaged goods. That sounds unfair to the woman because hers is even worse but that is why guys expect the woman to have taken more precaution. We know that it would spoil the occasion if they have a conversation about contraception before hand or even when the heat is on. They decided to flow with the moment but in the aftermath, she could have acted. If she acted and it failed, different ball game.

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    3. She took pills afterwards. And the woman is experiencing every emotion you mentioned like the man!

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    4. Hmmm. If she took pills, then he just has to be considerate and understand. His anger would fade though. It's that initial feeling of being boxed into a corner. Plus he would start wondering if it is really his since they don't stay together. Also, how soon after did she take them etc.

      But let us explore this double standard of cheating a bit further...I am with you on that, it is sad society permits it. However, Society in general and women like to see themselves as 'special'. You love being complimented and celebrated for all the good things. It also goes without saying that most of the negative things in society seem to have a male label on them (which I could equally tag unfair). Like drug trafficking, robbery, fraud etc. in my opinion, what seems to be a celebration of women and virtues has turned out to be an Achilles heel for them.

      Society now holds them to such high standards and unfairly so too. Also, women are also bit part players in the problem. How many women are real to themselves and their sexuality? Many like to pretend (and by pretend, I make a distinction between pretend and being private). So when you set very high targets for your fallible self, when you fall, you fall hard. I've been around women who are old enough to hold their own about their sexuality. But they still prefer some fantasy type stories and pretend like they can only ever be attracted to who they love. Lie! Big lie! It's normal to have the hots for someone, but so far you put that in check, it's all good. So sometimes, we take women at face value and it comes as a shock when they 'fail'.

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    5. Although you have raised some valid points, can we move away from stereotypes? It so happens that women hold a lot together so pardon us for all the celebration and the with the nature of woman, affirmation is something that goes a long way. Same way I mentioned double standards for women is how it applies to men in the aspects you mentioned like drug trafficking, robbery, fraud etc. There might be women involved in these things but the majority in this part of the world SEEM to be men. I have no statistics to prove this (re:seem)!

      As we are held to such high standards, society has to make room for the fact that we can equally fail as we are human. The sexuality aspect, let's not get started, I may write a post here. Men and woman alike deceive themselves!

      I have enjoyed this debate, please be sure to always come back to the blog :-)

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  4. I've read the story and the comments and right now I'm a little too pissed off to comment coherently. The story was captivating, Ene, good job. I'll come back later to leave a better comment.

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    1. I shall look forward to reading your next comment. I literally started laughing to myself while reading your comment.

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  5. I have seen a lot of sexist comments like how she should have taken the sole responsibility of avoiding conception and it really surprises me. They should have protected themselves from pregnancy and other diseases that could have come up. That was totally reckless and irresponsible. Moving forward from mistakes and whatnot, Darey should sign the agreement proposed and move on with his life and also let the lady have peace with the knowledge of the child being solely hers.

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    1. I like the "moving forward" part, as that is all that matters now...

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  6. Ok, I'm back. My temper hasn't cooled down yet but I will try.
    See, eh, my people say that the child who is old enough to eat yam with palm oil is equally old enough to wash the plate. If this coward, Darey (and I'm really sorry if he's your friend) thought it such a good idea to go skin to skin why is he complaining now that the action has reached its logical conclusion? Asking if she's a toddler, did he not know the way to the chemist to buy rubber? Abi she showed him gun and "trapped" him? And someone is taking his side. This is how men aren't allowed to face the consequences of their actions in our society.
    I would say that now he has eaten the yam with palm oil he should be forced to wash the plate, but it's not always in the best interest of a child to force him/her on someone that doesn't want him/her. If Darey is too weak to face his responsibility he should respect his age and sign the papers, let the mother do what is best for the child. My 2 kobo.

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    1. I agree that Darey is being a coward and has equally acted more like the toddler he asked Lola if she is. The part where society lets men off easily upsets me a whole lot.

      I see many seem to be in support of him signing the agreement, but fast forward to the future...You know somehow, children always want to find their 'missing' parent and it happens a lot with wanting to find their fathers. Would signing the agreement be in the interest of the child or mother in the future? Have we not seen too many times when the child turns on the mother and accuses her of being the one standing in the way of him/her having a relationship with the father?

      I am not sure if the agreement is necessary. On the other hand, she could do all she needs to do to raise her child. If the father comes around, the father and child could have a relationship, if not, live and let live. That's how I 'might' approach it.

      BTW Lola is my friend not Darey but I hold them both responsible for the situation. None of them is being let off the hook!

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    2. The problem with allowing Darey to waltz in and out if the child's life when he pleases his in in that the child may not know stability. He may decide to let her do the early hard parts if raising the child, come for the child when she's a little older, realize that being a parent is hard work he's still not ready for, and then walk out. Which, IMO, would hurt the child more. I'll say, sign the papers, and if he in the future thinks he wants to get to know his child the mother can weigh in and decide if he looks like he has become responsible enough to be allowed in. If he has she can allow, if he hasn't she has the authority to stop him at least until the child is old enough to make her own decision on whether to see him or not and also old enough to not be too terribly scared if he walks out if her life again. That makes 4 kobo.

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    3. By saying the child could have a relationship with the father, could is conditional and would certainly involve the mother's discretion. It would be up to her to keep him in check. I totally agree that stability is important for a child. But at the end, I hope it ends well for all parties involved and that they think of what is best for the child.

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  7. Hey, Ene,
    I'm going to shift the conversation a bit. As much as I value the discussion on morals and precautions and what's right or wrong in parental responsibility, I read this as a story and I am puzzled that there is so much attention being directed to the big social issues and decisions. Sure, this is based on real life events, and maybe I'm not dealing with the real life aspects, but for me, I look at the literary elements of the genre you're working with, and I can tell you again that I really enjoyed reading your tale. I loved the shifts from expectation to heartbreak, with all the feelings along the way. I was excited by the pace of the action. There is skill in controlling the length of a story and you have mastered this. A little abrupt, maybe, but I prefer to say explosive. And yes, we can can't get away from the message, and the resulting indignation and accusations, but for me, this works as an exciting drama that rattles the soul and tugs firmly at the heart. I can imagine what comes next, and for me imagination is extremely important, as I'm learning it is for you too. I really don't feel obliged to start talking about male commitment or lack of, or female responsibility for sexuality and how to be more sensible, or not. There is a lot we can learn from this tale, but we can also just enjoy it and go with the moment. The series of moments. You have a fantastic talent for capturing human experiences and activities and consequences in story form, and I am excited about the prospect of reading your next offering.

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    1. Eddie this comment has made my evening! I have always loved to write and am still exploring this talent. Hopefully I can do much more with it. I enjoy writing about everyday experiences and issues we face. Making them stories is an aspect I am still exploring and my writing style is developing as I go on.
      I am happy to have this comment on my writing style. For the abruptness, I have caught myself thinking about it many times but I think that adds to the part which is left to the reader's imagination. Any advice on how that could be refined?

      Thank you again Eddie for this comment.

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  8. Ene, thank you for your appreciative response. I'm so glad you found my comments helpful. I'll think about style some more, and if anything comes to mind I'll say. But really I think you just need to carry on, pick the subjects and people you feel most interested in and passionate about, and express yourself in the style you're happiest with. This is working really well already. And follow your instincts. You'll go far. Best wishes, Eddie.

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