The Art of the Game

Have you ever felt like you have been played? No need to ask right? We sure all have!

You know when you feel like you’ve simply been used as an end to a means in whatever respect...most popular on the list is when two people like each other and the guy gets his hands on the cookie, takes it and runs or the lady gets her hands on the cash or the thing she needs from the guy and she dumps him without looking back? 

I have a friend who loved this guy silly, she could almost lay down her life for him and he was a total waste of time! I’m sorry to say but yeah at the time he meant everything to her but never treated her right. He was living off her and she was too blind to see. You know when people are ‘in love’, it’s always smarter to stand afar off and be the onlooker because once you get tangled in it, you become the enemy when it’s all sorted out....sound familiar?lol We called her ‘Miss mumu international’, she certainly will read this post (Pardon me my dear friend but remembering this all is cracking me up so bad). She is happily married today by the way and of course not to that guy. Phew!

Another friend got the ring and was few months away from walking down the aisle when she discovered that Mr. was simply using her to get back at his ex! Can you beat that?! He made it his priority to get married before his ex as she was also planning her wedding. Just when she found out, Mr. turns into cold-ice-mean-no talking prince. She was fast, real fast, the traditional rites had been performed but she opted out, returned the dowry and is happy to wait for her Mr. Right.

Back to my point, when you start to like/love someone,  you know what they say when it gets to the part where you start to act like a fool? It’s your common sense slowly leaving you...I am sure we have all gone through this stage, I have :-) The sexy John Legend in his song  ‘Save Room’ sang ‘love hurts sometimes  when you do it right’ which is so true. But sometimes? You be the judge.

Remember the movie ‘Two can play that game’? The ‘player’ became the ‘played’, hmmm that must have hurt her feelings.  It happens, we feel like we are smart but with matters of the heart, all of the smartness flies out of the window. You’ll find that the supposedly strong ones are the weakest at heart and would do anything for love. We all seek love and acceptance in some form anyway.

Back to the cookie, ladies, keep the jar sealed till it is worth opening (except you are ready not feel bad about opening the jar at any point). Steve Harvey’s ‘Act like a lady think like a man’ prescribes 90 days for the waiting period. That won’t necessarily work for everyone but waiting I think teaches appreciation and trust. Don’t get me wrong, some get right down to business from the meeting moment and are still waxing strong...every  man to his style.

Where am I going with all this rambling? Today, a beautiful strong young woman I know who has the most accommodating heart feels like she got played. She broke all the rules and let her guard down because everyone had made out that she was too uptight but where did that leave her? Well, common sense is back, pick up the pieces and move on.

To everyone feeling like they got played at this moment, it’s all part of the game. It’s part of life. There will always be winners and losers, some will love and some will lose. At the end, it’s better to have loved than never to have loved at all. It’s not the end of the road and trust me, if you really got played, the player is in no way thinking about you. He/she has moved on to the next project so pick your pieces, put them back together. Good thing is common sense has returned so keep moving... 

This post is in no way meant to discredit anybody. It is simply bringing reality home through different experiences.

Talk to me on twitter @tammyabah :-)


  1. That last paragraph makes all the sense in the world. We've all been played, and some of us have played. So when it happens pick urself up, dust urself down, stick ur chin up and walk majestically away. And don't forget 2 shine ya eye well well next time, sha!
    Good one, luv.

  2. Thanks a lot, yeah we all have but life must go on...

  3. well... je pense qu'en amour il n'y a pas de règle. mais comme tu dis, le plus important c'est de relever et d'avancer.
    Interesting post.

  4. I hear you sister. I guess easier said than done. I know it is a wonderful thing to love someone or to be in love. However being in love to the extend of blindness is a crime and that is to love like a mumu. Fellows love should be something to enjoy and not something that causes us pain. The moment love hurts, fellows you have been taken advantage of. Love but don't close your eyes, cause when shit is going down, it all unfolds in-front of our own eyes but if we are too busy loving an idiot, we makes excuses for their wrong doings. I tell you this; whenever you are in love and find yourself too often saying: it was my fault he or she did me wrong and taking responsibility for their shit, just know you have been infected with the shitty love virus and its time to wake, open your eyes, face reality and stop denying it. whenever you close those eyes, shit is bound to happen.
    Women you know when an asshole hits you the first time and you think you love them and excuse them, all you've done is encourage the idiot to do it again. no body in love should have to shed tears course love is not suppose to hurt.

    1. Making excuses for the other person when we know deep within that it's headed for the rocks is something that happens a lot. we hold onto hope even in our darkest moments but yes, waking up to reality soon enough and taking the necessary steps always simplifies the lives of those involved :-)


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