Visiting Dubai and Abu Dhabi

        I visited Dubai at the end of 2019 into 2020 and I have to say that it sure lives up to the hype. It is such a vibrant city, buzzing with activities.

I spent 10 days with my mum and 2 friends and I have to add that we did not rest, one bit. From our arrival to our departure, we were on the move; there is so much to see and do.

We started with the global village which was interesting to see. The fusion of so many Arab countries represented, especially the food was amazing. There were different performances; car stunts, Bollywood, cartoons etc. as we wandered through, there was only so much we could see. The place is huge!

Something remarkable 2

In case you missed the last part, please read it here.

Tare had never spoken a word of Spanish…where was she going to start from? They had talked of her taking Spanish classes, but she was overwhelmed with everything. She was thankful every day that she and her husband spoke the same local language, when she was tired of trying, she would easily speak Yoruba to him instead of English so that no one would understand what she was saying. The big shock for her was how they walked everywhere. Unlike her life in Nigeria where she would jump into her car and go where she wanted, she had to study the train and bus times and plan around those schedules. Manual labour was very expensive so she had to learn to do everything herself. Her husband helped when he could but with his work schedule and knowing that that was their only source of income, she could not complain.

Winter was approaching, so was the delivery. Having a first child and having to deal with everything on her own made her miserable. She spent a lot of time thinking as her husband was not there for her to share these fears with. She was not ready to speak to her mum about these concerns. Her mum would not only get worried but would blow up Seyi’s phone, which might just do more harm than good. Seyi came home tired and somewhat uninterested in all her baby talk most days; she quickly learnt not to bother him with it.

Her bundle of joy arrived one fine snowy day, after 20 hours of labour. The pain is not something anyone can ever prepare you for. But like they say, once you have the baby in your hands, you realise that the pain was worth it. Tare moved into the spare bedroom so that the baby’s constant crying would not bother her husband. He was involved at first but that started to wear out. Communication between the couple was strained and Tare easily focused on her baby, her only source of joy. Postpartum depression kicked in and was worsened by Tare juggling everything. Learning to be a mother on her own, constantly on the phone with her mum when she has no clue what to do. And having to deal with Seyi’s attitude, Tare started to feel unloved, inadequate and her self-confidence dropped all the way to the floor.

Something remarkable

A notification popped up on her phone, it was a friend request on Facebook. This person looked familiar, but she could not place where/if they had met. They had so many mutual friends, so why not she thought to herself. She accepted his request.

He sent messages, but she did not feel inclined to respond at first. A few days later, he buzzed again so she thought she would be polite. Before long, she realised that he drew her in, the guy knew how to hold a conversation. He made her laugh and their banter flowed naturally. She looked forward to chatting with him, which they did daily.

Tare caught herself imagining what it would be like to meet him. The topic came up and they finally set a date for him to visit. She was nervous, she had butterflies in her tummy, but it turned out to be such a beautiful time. She laughed like she had not done in such a long time. There was a strong attraction between them and on that front, she had not been getting any action.

In my feelings

Guest post alert...

A friend of mine sent me this experience of hers! I thought how she narrated it was brilliant, so I had to share (with her permission of course). Hope you enjoy reading it like I did.

He came to class. Regular dude, tall, clean shaven, a little bald... Nothing to see here. His glasses were rectangular. He wore a pink rough edged t-shirt and blue jeans. Seriously, he was just a regular man. He introduced himself to the class and we had to introduce ourselves too. After I did, he shook my hand. It was a regular handshake. Class went on... Then he called my name and asked me something. I swear I didn't hear a single word. I was lost in his lips. I was staring. He called me again then I snapped out of it. I didn't know the answer to what he asked. Then he asked if I was OK. I said yes. I just needed to get some air and I walked out of the class. I couldn't breathe. What was happening to me? I drank some water, sprinkled some on my face and went back to class. Everything was normal again.

When it all makes you numb...

We visited a village on a work trip and one of my colleagues seemed so fascinated by something. I saw her trying to take a photo but I hardly paid attention as there was a lot happening.

Much later she showed me this photo:

Look closely at the drawing 

Your guess is as good as mine! My heart broke at the realisation.

Since coming to this country, many things that seem to be normal to people here are things that I do not find normal in any sense of the word.

Our reality with the corona virus

For the first time since the lock down, I allowed myself dwell on how long this corona virus pandemic might last and what the aftermath might be like. I was letting myself get sucked in by the worry, thoughts, analysis and uncertainty hitting the world at this time.

I do not intend to live in denial but I've generally found ways to take in the right amount of information for me, as there is sooooo much.

Could this be a generational thing?

Someone contacted me out of nowhere to ask what options her cousin who studied French and had just graduated from university had in terms of work. 

She also mentioned that some other people they knew who studied French ended up teaching. Then she ended her message with this question: 'What can she do with the French?'. What I drew from her message was that she didn't want her cousin to teach.

I asked her what her cousin's interests were and if she had asked her cousin the same question. She seemed to be getting frustrated with my questions but I didn't see how I could help, because in reality, my thinking was that her cousin would be in a much better position to know what her options were and what she might like to do.

I told her teaching was one option (and what if that was what the cousin wanted to do?!) but there were other things to do. Another thing was that I didn't know her cousin or what she liked so I was unsure how to respond. She was contacting me obviously because I studied French and was not teaching I suppose...