Our Pride

I had taken being Nigerian for granted all my life. Being at home, there is almost no reason to wear your nationality, that’s all one knows how to be anyway. Growing older and being more in touch with the world, it seems to dawn on people that ‘your nationality is your pride’.

Visiting different countries especially when family and friends live in such places can be very different from living in them; you are made to feel at home and can be shown around easily. There is a tendency to be shielded from some of the experiences that one gets exposed to while living in the Diaspora. See my previous post, 'Tales from the Diaspora'

With this realization, your nationality is either a blessing or a curse – at least so it seems. I noticed that people of any country living abroad tend to be more nationalist than those at home.       

'We' no dey carry last!

Has anyone noticed how easily we Nigerians follow the trend of about anything that happens to be in vogue? Not just that, but the tendency to easily abuse things isn't out of place.... Pardon me if you don't share my view but I happened to grow up in the 80's when the world had some sanity in it.
A quick look at these and you just might share my view ;)

Religion 

The two major religions in Nigeria are Christianity and Islam.
If you were to take a drive around Nigeria, the number of churches and mosques is alarming. The churches, can be found within every few kilometres, and have all sorts of names, one would think it were a competition. Loud speakers calling for prayers from mosques, prayers and singing from churches, talk about noise as an environmental hazard?!
Do not get me wrong, I do not condemn religion but I am sure that even God follows order :-)
I found this survey that was done sometime back (2004), I wonder what the results would be today if it were to be repeated.


 
In graphics:What the world thinks of God What The World Thinks Of God

What pays?

Does it pay to be good anymore? A friend of mine blurted that question out while we were having a conversation. We had a very long conversation about life which touched about everything.

She had gone through some experiences that were making her question all she was taught and believed in.

 

I actually took time to reflect on this question: today does it pay to be good? It seems the good people are the bad ones because they refuse to conform and they end up looking imprudent for their actions. On the other hand, so much evil is perpetrated and it is second to normal to be bad.

In the society, at work places, corruption is so rampant, in the news there are always evil stories making headlines.

This and That ;)

Blazing hot, reflections unbearable to the eyes, that's how hot the sun has been in this part of the world.

Luckily, a thick mast of clouds have begun to gather, black and ready to burst,

nothing withheld, the downpour came...breeze, coolness, lower temperatures, phew!

The sound on the roof, the clean smell everywhere, beautiful green to behold, nature.
Its the rainy season :-)

I have a free Saturday this weekend, yippee!

I literally have my Saturdays dedicated to attending friends’ weddings these days. So many people are getting married. It is a pleasure to witness love expressed by taking the bold step to tie the knot.

On the other hand, I also ask myself every now and then, why are there so many divorces today? 

Marriage as I have understood from when I was a child is an institution that is meant to last for a life time. So what is it people are doing wrong? Many of our parents have stayed together through thick and thin. They didn’t have as much information and opportunities to make their lives as beautiful as ours are today, but they stayed. 

I read somewhere; a young lady asked an old woman how she and her husband managed to stay together for 75 years and the woman said ‘we are from a generation where even when things aren’t going as we want, we fix those things and not walk away’. . . deep! 

Aren’t there times when some things just cannot be fixed? I have heard of a few divorces and some marriages are simply beyond repair. What should such people do?

I have also seen people rush into marriage from pressure from family, society and themselves. Why, is the question I usually ask? Especially when a person puts him/herself under pressure..."all my friends are married, I have to get married too", yeah yeah! It doesn’t happen at the same time for everyone.

Does love even exist some ask but still go ahead to get married to someone they can’t really say they love. Is that right? Love will come I have heard but ermm....

Just last night a friend complained about how terrified she was about getting married, she loves her boyfriend and he has been asking her to marry him but she is holding back, she doesn’t feel like she is ready yet. Can anyone be ready enough for marriage? It’s a lifetime commitment, that’s huge but marriage is a beautiful thing for those who get it right.

Anyway, to all my married friends and those getting married in the near future, hearty cheers go out to you all! Wishing you every good thing that comes with being married.

Out in the dark

On one of the mornings I had to rush out earlier than usual (I had to drop my sister off at the park and pick something up before going to work), I left home at 6 A.M, it was still dark, dawn had hardly broken.

I drove out of the gate and behold right in front of the neighbour’s house, I saw two children seated outside, a girl and a boy who couldn’t have been more than five or six and three years old respectively. Surprised, I called out to them and asked ‘what are you doing here’ and the girl responded, her voice rough either from lack of enough sleep or being upset at having to wait out there in the dark. ‘We are waiting for our school bus.’ I was stunned, at that time? So many questions ran through my head. I asked another question, ‘where is your mummy’ and she said ‘inside’. I do not mean to be judgmental but I wondered, how cruel could a mother be? What school bus comes to pick children at this time, instantly I looked at my clock and it 6:07A.M. 

Lost in my thoughts, my sister’s voice brought me back to reality when she asked ‘where is your school’. From the little girls’ response, the distance from the house to school could not be more than fifteen minutes at the maximum. It is certain that the school bus would have a round of pick ups but 6A.M I thought was too early to put young children outside while the adults stayed comfortably inside. It was dark, there could be creeping things, and anything could happen to those children. My sister and I deliberated on asking them to go inside but we decided against it. Who knows? That could be normal to them.

Since I had those children on my mind as I drove on, I deliberately looked for children in cars and I saw so many, some asleep, some looking like they were sulking but for one who chatted happily away with her father.

 

The search for truth

When we pray sometimes, we expect answers sent to us in a certain way, we pray with a fixed  mindset but it hardly works that way. Sometimes God comes through for us and in ways we don’t expect, it could be better than we thought or it could be painful, really painful. At other times, He may simply be saying not yet or this isn’t for you. But in all, God knows us and wants good for us so He won’t grant us evil to destroy us. We asked anyway, so He answers.

There are times I feel like God is so far away from me, but a friend of mine’s status message read a few days ago if God is far, who moved? He is the same, He hasn’t and will not change but we always do.

Now, do I sound like I am preaching? *Laughing to myself *

 

'Religion' is a sensitive issue and is generally not advised to be discussed in order not to stir up trouble, I am treading carefully and do not intend to offend anyone who reads this. If you have any misgivings about what I have written, please feel free to leave a comment.

 

The search for truth and a connection to spirituality leads people to believe in different things. Many of us are born and raised to know a certain belief, but as we grow older, we go on a quest to know more of what we want to believe in or not to believe in anything at all.

 

I am not sure if I want to be bothered with ‘religion’ as it is practiced today. I love God, I seek Him and His word is what guides me, and that for me is the essence of whatever/whoever anyone believes in.

From my observation, there is so much dogma with what people believe in and that has infiltrated the truth of what should be.

 

In Christianity, there are different sects/factions (what would be the most appropriate word): Methodists, Protestants, Catholics, Pentecostals, Anglicans, Baptists, Jehovah witnesses and more. 

Sometimes, when people ask, are you a Christian and I say yes, the next question will be what exactly? Pentecostal, Catholic e.t.c? Why should that matter anyway? As I like to say, I am christian and that's it. The word Christian came about from people who acted like Jesus Christ so they were called Christians - Christ like. I would say the goal of being a Christian should be being like Jesus Christ.

We have created so many divisions in Christianity that I wonder sometimes if at a time when we all need to unite for whatever reason, we will be able to come together as one putting all the supposed sects/factions aside to achieve the goal that needs to be achieved.

 

Pieces

A bond so strong, the ability to just know, the feeling of insecurity when a lie is told. One ‘simple’ lie could spoil a relationship built over time. Somehow, more lies have to follow to cover up the ‘simple’ one that was told.

In relationships of whatever kind, someone once said that when you lie, you lose one thing which you may never get back: integrity. It reduces you in the eyes of the other person especially when it is someone whose opinion matters to you.

Sometimes there may be things known all along but you might be waiting to hear it from just one person, giving a last chance to save whatever integrity the person has.

A song I like says ‘you can play on broken strings, you can feel anything that your heart don’t want to feel…’ We can interpret that in many ways but in all, we choose not to let go so many times when need be to our detriment. Letting go is extremely difficult but in doing so, you give a chance for more and maybe better things and people to come in.

There are times that things come up and others feelings are thought of to be protected. How that can be handled without lying or hurting anyone, I wonder… It becomes inevitable, for the truth to be told, it just might hurt and in honesty, some may take it with such grace that you are left wondering what the fuss was about.

We all have been hurt sometime; felt some form of betrayal by someone we trusted so much. Sadly, some people don’t recover, but on the other hand, others do, and very quickly.

Honesty is costly…it has to be. But lies… they cost so much more.