Who made you judge of anybody she retorted, tears streaming down her face….
They once were happy but now that joy seems to elude her.
Going down memory lane, she remembers how the sound of laughter always filled her home, they once were the couple everybody wanted to be like, the promise of tomorrow was bright but today it all looks bleak.
Who else could she have married if not him? They dated through university and even when it got tough, they grew stronger in love. The one true love of her life, her happy ending.
Now she hears nothing but talk about fertilility drugs. The first year went by so fast and she aimed only to make her love happy. By the end of the second year, it started to become a struggle. The pressure mounted, the talk of not having a child…“the doctors said we are both fine” were always the words she’d mutter in the face of criticism.
She once believed children were a gift from God but all accusing fingers point to her like she chose deliberately not to have any.
She recoiled from the public because she was made to feel less like a woman. Her once boisterous personality was overshadowed with gloom.
Another two years and still nothing but hope. Doctors appointments became less interesting to keep . . . same old story, ‘I’m sorry’.
Suddenly he seemed to come back to her, he remembered the promises they made to stand by each other no matter what may come their way and his hope seemed to grow stronger, holding them both in place.
He starts to look forward to the next doctors appointment and despite her unwillingness to keep it, he persuades her. The doctor walks in and she is ready to hear the usual but nay he beams at them and the words are different for once . . . ’Congratulations’. Her husband cannot contain his joy; this is good news, isn’t it? She is supposed to be elated but she can’t find it in her to celebrate, all she does is weep, silently saying thank you.
She takes it slow, takes all the prescribed medication, she can’t afford to lose the baby she tells herself everyday. Two whole months pass and all is well.
A dull head ache starts and she reminds herself that she needs to get some rest but despite that, it persists. Suddenly she struggles to breathe and he is right by her side. Anxiety starts to build as he rushes her to the hospital. Frantically in need of some words of comfort, he calls the only people he feels are in the best position to give any advice – their mothers.
They all pace in the hospital waiting for a doctor to appear, the nurse takes it into her hands and thinks to do the needful . . .she gives a shot of glucose, sadly, the glucose level is already too high.
One by one, her organs collapse, the doctors show up and in hushed tones, they make the decisions. She feels like her life is leaving her. Once together, she looks her husband pointedly in the eyes ‘these doctors have given up on me, they don’t care’. He goes hysterical asking for what can be done or who needs to do something, she has her mother and his mother beside her. She waits patiently for him to return and with one last breath; she reminds him how much she loves him.
Bewildered, confused, alone can’t begin to describe the way he feels as he collapses.